I went to see Joshua Bell in Buffalo, because that is what I do. Normally he is all over the world, but recently he has been within 4 hours of me 4 times!
My hotel room was very nice, it was at the hotel where they give you cookies and also it was a Pokestop. Can’t go wrong with that. The bed, though, was four feet off the ground. No exaggeration. It was the tallest bed I have ever seen. I could not get on this bed without significant maneuvering. I tried jumping, lifting my leg up and hurling it onto the mattress – and then I thought, this needs to be shared with the world, how could I keep this to myself? So here you go:
Now the important part. The concert. Even though it was called A Night With Joshua Bell, the first half did not have Joshua Bell in it. I preferred the second half, which Joshua Bell was in.
During intermission, the guy behind me started talking to me. He looked like Gomez Addams. JUST LIKE HIM. I do not like being talked to by people, but he was trying to be nice, so I smiled and nodded.
The concert was beyond words. He played a violin concerto by Bruch, and then Ladies in Lavender. I still get a little excited when he says he is going to play something from a movie, hoping it will be 503 from Angels and Demons. I will not stop hoping.
Before going into the concert I asked a girl who was promoting the Buffalo Orchestra if JB would be signing autographs afterwards. She said no, there is an opening night gala. I did not know what to say, so I shoved my wrist at her. The wrist with his signature tattooed on it. The SECOND I did this, I wanted to say, on her behalf, “Dumbass, he still isn’t coming out” because I immediately realized what an ass move that was.
I was not deterred, I just figured I would “blend” afterwards and either walk into the gala and see what happens, or hang out in the lobby – I mean, he has to come out at some point, right? I did not have the foresight to think, what exactly do I think I am going to do when he DOES come out and there I am, standing there. I started to think I might have crossed the creepy line just by thinking this.
So concert is over, and I linger in the lobby. Everyone goes over to the gala and I realize the flaw in my plan – I am wearing the usual, jeans and a tee shirt, and everyone else is wearing ball gowns. Sneaking in and blending was not an option. Also, blue hair. I hung out in the lobby until there was no one left in the lobby except for a few ushers cleaning up and a security guy. A lady said to me “Are you waiting for a ride?” and in that split second, I planned to lie. But I am physically incapable of lying so instead I said “Actually, I was hoping to stand here and not have anyone notice me and maybe I could see Joshua Bell when he leaves.” She said “He’s not going to come out these doors.” I said “Oh”, but I didn’t move.
Several uncomfortable minutes later, Larisa Martinez came out of the gala room. I waved, and she came over. Here is my thing – I felt horrible when I met her in Chautauqua, in some weird feminist way that I cannot exactly describe. I was so entranced with JB, I felt like I treated her like “the girlfriend” and not her own person. Then when I found out that her own person was someone whose singing I really enjoyed, I felt even worse. In light of that, and to kind of redeem myself and say “I swear I don’t ignore women and assume the man is the successful one”, I sent her a message on Facebook, apologizing if I came across like a jerk. I didn’t expect her to respond, and she didn’t. But in Buffalo, she came right over and said “I got your Facebook message, don’t worry, you weren’t rude at all!” and I basically then gushed “THANK YOU SO MUCH BECAUSE I FELT SO BAD AND YOU ARE A PERSON TOO”. We chatted for a minute, and then she went to wherever she was going. A minute later she walked by me again and said “It was good seeing you, have a good night!” and I thought a lot of thoughts. I thought, well, I think that was my queue to leave, I’m starting to look creepy. Then I thought, if SHE came out that door, maybe HE would come out that door. But panic won, and I started to leave. Luckily I get easily confused by locked doors, and kept trying to leave out of a door that was locked. I heard “Hey wait!” and I turned around and died.
Larisa brought Joshua Bell out JUST TO SEE ME. We were the only ones in the lobby and it was JUST FOR ME! She said “Why were you leaving after you waited so long?” and I legit said “I was really starting to feel creepy and I didn’t know what to do, and I swear I’m harmless, I just, oh my god, seeing you live, it’s just, I can’t even, it’s so….” and JB shook my hand and did the whole “I know I should know you but…” and HE WAS JUST SO NICE and he asked where exactly I live, because I keep showing up in different places, and I said Cleveland, but I’ll drive 4 or 5 hours to wherever he is. He was impressed by that. After another minute, in which I did not ask any of the follow up questions I had, I decided I must be wasting his time, and I said “THANK YOU SO MUCH IT WAS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AND YOU ARE SO NICE TO COME OUT AND YOU WERE SO NICE TO GO GET HIM” and I kind of turned around and ran. Oh and somehow I fit in there “I’m going to see Green Day in Detroit next weekend!” which did not impress him, and also Green Day was postponed.
I have no pictures at all, just the bed video, and I really think that is quite enough.
Here is my cat, though.