It’s been awhile.
I have not written anything because I hate Donald Trump so much that I was afraid anything I write would be a flaming, rage filled hate post and I would not be able to ever post happy things again. It has taken me this long to get to the point where I can do my normal “write without editing” and be fairly confident it will not turn into me spewing hatred towards #45.
I went to the Cleveland Wizard World Comic Con. I did not originally plan to go, but a few days before the weekend it was here, my friend posted on Facebook that she was selling her weekend pass, so I thought I would see who was going to be there. I checked several times prior to the actual weekend of the event and no one I was interested in was going to be there. This time when I checked, there was Dean Cain, Cordelia and Xander from Buffy, and 011 from Stranger Things.
If you look at this post, you’ll see my friend Sabrina the Human and her interactions with Dean Cain. Well. When I saw he was going to be in Cleveland, I purchased a photo op because this would be her chance to seduce and marry him. Yes, she has a boyfriend, but….Dean Cain.
And who doesn’t love Buffy? I love Buffy. The morning of the photo op with them, though, I pulled a major Darcy. Every once in awhile I get this thing, and I kind of panic, and then I kind of can’t leave my bed. It is weird. My constant state is anxiety, but this is me lying in bed staring at the wall, unable to move, even though famous people are waiting to let me stand next to them for five seconds for an ungodly amount of money. Sabrina the Human took my place.
I finally got my shit together and got there JUST ON TIME to…wait in line for 1.5 hours to get my picture taken with Millie Bobby Brown from Stranger Things. There were many people in line. Many. I finally got into the “picture tent” and they were just pushing people through like cattle, and for every picture, 011 didn’t even look at the person next to her, but she did a completely different face and pose with each person….it’s just that the person with her had no idea what she was going to do, so they just stood next to her while she posed. When I got next to her, I said “What face are we making?” and she said “This one” and went all cute and girly. It is time to review a few things about me.
- I am not cute and girly
- I am short and stubby
- I have deformed wrists
- I have several chins
Keeping those things in mind, here is the picture that happened.
Let us now analyze the picture.
The hand. That is the extent to which I can bend my wrist.
The shoulder/body. It is large and in charge.
The neck. There are no defining lines whatsoever.
The chin. What chin?
The lips. Just…what?? What was I even doing?
I look like a Jewish or Italian grandma trying to get someone to eat more food.
Can I even make a cutesy kissy face, when I am not under the pressure of having to do it while standing next to a tiny person with a cute accent who has a lot more money than I do? Let’s see, shall we?
The answer is no.