Darcy Meets World And Also Mulder And Scully

David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson were scheduled to be at a Chicago comic con, and they do not do that very often. As per my usual MO, I bought tickets to get a picture with them, and then tickets to get their individual autographs.

Imagine my level of spazz when I found out that the cast of Boy Meets World was also going to be there! It was a high spazz level. I have not created an actual Darcy Spazz Scale, so I will right now. It was Level Orange.

I could not meet Mulder and Scully without the Mulder to my Scully, sans any actual relationship factors, Dan Folino. I mean, really, he just believes in aliens and conspiracies, and I do not. That is the extent of our similarities to The X-Files. BUT STILL. He had to go.

We went. We got to our hotel after a six hour drive and ordered deep dish pizza and drank one of everything at the very tiny hotel bar. This prompted me to forget to eat the pizza, and Folino to spend the night imitating Trump. It was amazing. But we both regret that $35 deep dish pizza, of which we ate one piece each. To this day, we talk about that pizza.

We got to the convention place, and waited in an insanely long line where a guy befriended Folino and I rocked back and forth. We were running late, and I was a Level Green spazz. The place was more enormous than any convention center I’d been to, and I used my Find Famous People Instincts to lead us the VERY LONG WAY AROUND to find Mulder and Scully. There were roughly 8,000 people in line.

Finally it was our turn. I warned Folino that sometimes famous females have very strict rules about touching, but then I also made him stand next to Gillian so I could touch…I mean…stand next to David Duchovny. Please note the odd placement of Folino’s hand, hovering, but not touching, Gillian Anderson.

Hovering, not touching

Also, take note of David Duchovny’s teeth. If you look at most pictures of him from events like this, he does not Teeth Smile. Right before the picture was taken, Folino said “don’t worry, you guys are almost done, there’s only about 500 people left in line” and David Duchovny LAUGHED.

We went to The X-Files panel, which was adorable.

Then we had time before we went to their autograph tables, so Folino went to get beer, and I met Topanga, Cory, Shawn, and Eric. Danielle Fischel was first, and she was as nice and down to earth as can be. I asked her why she hasn’t posted any “snack reviews” on her instagram lately, and she said “oh yeah! I need to do more! I can’t rhink of any snacks!” and then we took this picture.

Danielle Fischel being adorable.

Next I met Ben Savage. He was completely nice, but not as interactive as the others.

Ben Savage

Then, Ryder Strong who was so sweet and welcoming and kind, I just wanted to hug him. He asked me where I was from, and I honestly do not remember the conversation, just that he was so unafraid to just squeeze a person. When we took the picture, he did not do the “stand stiffly next to a person” thing, he did a full John Barrowman and pulled me in.

Ryder Strong

Last but definitely not least, Will Friedle. If you follow this guy on Twitter, you can see that he adores his wife so much, it is heartwarming. So I told him how much I love that he loves his wife so much and he said “I do!!” And grabbed his phone and showed me pictures from his wedding and talked more about how great she is.

Yes, that is Dan Folino photobombing us and drinking beer.

Our last mission was to get David Duchovny’s and Gillian Anderson’s autographs on our awesome picture, which you can see on the picture above. Folino schmoozed, so for the first time, I did not have a Darcy Blurts Something Weird moment in front of famous people. Gillian said she wished she had chocolate, and I said “I have peanut butter!” and she said “yeah, that’s not the same”.

I told David Duchovny I like his books, which is true, I do. But I do not like his singing. Folino does, so he said that.

Coming next, my interactions in Cleveland with James Marsters and John Barrowman, and Josh’s Five Minutes of Fame!

I Can Post Things From My Phone.

This is a thing. I can post from my phone.

This seems like as good a time as any to post some of the pictures from my adventures that I did not post over the past year or so.

The highlights of my extraordinary life have been:

  1. Taking my nieces to NYC for their first time, and seeing Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, Come From Away, Puffs, and Frozen. There are no words to describe Cursed Child. The script was awful. It hurt to read. Seeing it onstage was like seeing something else entirely. It was so amazing that while we were in the hotel one night, I bought a ticket for myself to see it again the next month. I had a plan. You see, I was going to see Joshua Bell in Chautauqua, and I figured “I can just pop on over to NYC afterwards”. If you have ever looked at a map, it does not work like that. I ended up driving to Chautauqua, then back to a friend’s house in Cleveland, where I left my car and flew to NYC.
  2. On this second NYC trip, I saw Cursed Child, The Band’s Visit, and the performance that changed me – a show called In and Of Itself. This show requires a post of its own, so more on that later.
  3. I saw Joshua Bell! And a woman had a seizure in the audience during the performance. And I said hi to him afterwards and he remembered me!
  4. John Barrowman.
  5. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson.
  6. The cast of Boy Meets World.
  7. I got a new insulin pump.
  8. Billie Piper
  9. David Tennant
  10. I went to DisneyWorld and met Dug and went to Harry Potter World and got chosen by Ollivander and this is going to be a post or several all by itself but the bottom line is, I was not arrested for clinging to Dug, but I was asked if I had “someone with me to help”.
  11. Yeah, I think I missed a lot. I’ll post some pictures and then write the real blogs for each story in time!

Now this is where it gets fuzzy because I have NO sense of time at all. Did I already write about James Marsters and how he recorded my outgoing voicemail? Just in case I did not write about that, call 216-990-6962. I won’t answer, I never do. You can hear Spike.

Spike was imitating my shirt from the previous day, and I squeezed John Barrowman slightly too hard and I said “did I just sexually harass you?” And he said “I hope so!”



Billie Piper is really tall!


Imitating the shirt! He really liked it and hadn’t seen it before!


Conversation to follow in another post!


NBD

I Cannot Remember How to Work My Own Blog

Hey there! For a really long time, I could not remember how to log in or write a post, so I just sort of abandoned this website – but then I had a stockpile of Dogs Eating Peanut Butter videos that I wanted to post…and then I could not remember how to get them on to You Tube, so nothing was posted. Then I tried again and remembered some things, so here is a post.

One of the main things I forgot how to do was how to check the “Ask the Darcy” submissions. I just got in there now, and I saw a wonderful and glorious paragraph, and it inspired me to figure out how to make a blog post about it.

So here is the submission (from April of 2018):


don’t you get tired of ripping apart people that are not there to defend themselves? I used to feel sorry for you but now i think it is you that has a problem. It seems like everybody is out to scam you and you tell these stories to let people know but they don’t care and it just makes you look miserable, a poor judge of people, and a bitter person. they have a page set up about you called darcy’s attacks and they make a lot of fun of you, but i think it’s sad. All you do is tell stories (unverifiable) and try to hurt peoples reputations. You really need to take down your posts and get a life. Live your life and stop trying to ruin other peoples. And learn to move on. Your posts are so old. Erase them and move on lady. And grow up!!!

I love this for a lot of reasons, but the first and foremost is that somewhere, “they” set up a “page” about me. Clearly, this person does not know me well, because NOTHING feeds my ego more than to know people might be talking about me when I am not there. I am powerful enough that A PAGE WAS MADE ABOUT ME. And it is a “they”! There are multiple people that I have this power over. I desperately tried to find this “page” – if anyone who reads this can find it, I offer to you a cash reward of $100 (Venmo or Paypal). I am not the best internet researcher, but I looked at the Google and I also searched Facebook groups. I found nothing. If there is no page, that is disappointing, BUT – it has means I have MORE power because someone made something up about me. I AM IN SOMEONE’S BRAIN AGAINST THEIR WILL and that is basically my life goal.

Piece by piece, here we go!

don’t you get tired of ripping apart people that are not there to defend themselves?
I get off much more when someone is in front of me and I can tell them what I think of them, it is true. So yes, I get tired of ripping people apart when they are not here – I often invite them to be here, and no one takes me up on that offer. On Facebook when I decided that it is not illegal immigrants who are the world’s problem, but trashy people, someone I deemed trashy said something like “Say that to my face”. He lives down the street from me, and I invited him over. He did not accept. I even offered him sandwiches. People I have written about in the past, I only WISH they were here in front of me – Jesse Dombeck, Bitch Hog, “Jane” (who was actually AJ), and Colleen – I would love nothing more than to tell them to their faces everything I have written, and more.

I used to feel sorry for you but now i think it is you that has a problem.
I have an amazing life, do not ever feel sorry for me – there is nothing to pity. I love everything I do and everyone I choose to be around. I have things I am passionate about (theater, books, Joshua Bell, Green Day, etc) and I can afford to follow those passions to amazing extremes. Now that I am “elderly” (42), I have the wisdom to interact with people I truly enjoy, and I do not just “people please”. I love my job. Never feel sorry for me, my life is so much better than most, and I love it.

It seems like everybody is out to scam you and you tell these stories to let people know but they don’t care and it just makes you look miserable, a poor judge of people, and a bitter person
Not everyone – just Jesse Dombeck. He, quite literally, scammed me, and many others.
I was an absolutely poor judge of people before I became more discerning, that is absolutely true. When AJ used to tell me he was “driving back and forth on 422” for 8 hours at a time, when really, he was at Colleen’s 15 year old niece’s house doing the nasty with her…I believed him 100%. I believed Colleen when she told me that there was nothing going on between AJ and the niece. I believed the niece when she took me out for coffee to have a “heart to heart” with me because she sensed maybe I thought she was doing something, and she told me she absolutely was not doing anything. I believed it all and I was 100% a poor judge of character. I am better at that now – with age, comes wisdom – it really does happen.
As for being bitter, I am pretty bitter, yes. I hold a grudge against the main offenders in my life. I am ok with that, though, so it is more of a zen sense of bitterness.

they have a page set up about you called darcy’s attacks and they make a lot of fun of you, but i think it’s sad.
I already addressed this one, but as I mentioned – it is not sad. This gives me power, and I like power.

All you do is tell stories (unverifiable) and try to hurt peoples reputations.
Jesse Dombeck – verifiable, look up his police records (all public)
AJ – verifiable, look up his police records (all public)
Bitch Hog – verifiable, look at her employment history
Colleen – correct, not verifiable – the only thing I can tell you is that she drove her niece to hook up with AJ and go on dates with him, and lied to me about it
Trashy people – verifiable, look at their lives

You really need to take down your posts and get a life. Live your life and stop trying to ruin other peoples. And learn to move on. Your posts are so old. Erase them and move on lady. And grow up!!!
I will never take down any posts – I post my unedited thoughts and opinions, I stand by them, I admit when I am wrong, and I will delete nothing. More importantly, I put my name on everything – you did not. You are hiding behind anonymity. I would happily meet you at Starbucks and tell you all of this to your face – but you appear to be so ashamed of your own opinion of me that you have to hide.
I live my life, that’s what 90% of this blog is about – my freaking amazing life!
Learn to move on – this person posted this in April of 2018, and my last post was from 2017….who needs to move on?
Grow up – well, again, I think being a grown up is being honest, straight forward, self aware, happy with yourself, and unafraid of conflict. Look at me…and look at your anonymous comment.

I think this might be the same person who commented on this post and said that they knew who my “code name” people were and that I did bad things in school? Maybe? Maybe not. But at any rate, that person also would not respond directly to me and is a complete pansy. And also, I have never been in trouble in my life, so there are no “things” in school – college, or high school. OK, well, in 8th grade one time, I really do not know what came over me – one of the tougher kids was sitting in a chair and leaning forward so that the back legs were up in the air. I think you can see where this is going….I really cannot explain why I did this, but I stomped on the back legs of the chair and made him fall on the ground. I feared for my life for the rest of that school year. In high school, I spent all my time helping Mr. Alexander in the library and trying to convince my parents to let me be home schooled. In college, I literally had my first sip of alcohol the day I turned 21 – because rules are there for a reason, and we must follow them.

So anyway, I would love to hear about my reputation “in school” and what a badass I was.

I hope I remember to post again before I turn 50, but as always, we shall see. And hit me up (that was for the girl at work who tries to teach me slang) if you want to have coffee with me, and I will happily tell you all of this to your face (anyone, not just the person who submitted this comment)

Can You Pass Darcy’s Driver Test?

I am going to an off site manager meeting thing, and I am being driven with a group of people.  In an SUV.  Driven by someone else.  To say this caused me anxiety is an understatement. Melissa, who I shall henceforth refer to as my personal driver, passed my test.  Mostly.  This is our conversation via our work chat system.

9/5/2017 11:20:57 AM
On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your driving skills?  Probably pretty good, because you have kids, right?

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:43:39 AM
You are funny

9/5/2017 11:43:59 AM
After three hours in an SUV with me, see if you’re still saying that 😉

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:44:08 AM
and I wouldn’t assume that having kids makes you a good driver

9/5/2017 11:44:22 AM
……

9/5/2017 11:44:23 AM
Not helping

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:44:25 AM
What exactly are your concerns?

9/5/2017 11:44:43 AM
SUV’s are scary.  Other people driving = me not being in control. You might be a bad driver and kill us.

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:45:05 AM
Well…

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:45:09 AM
I drive an SUV every day

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:45:16 AM
and I think that small cars are scary

9/5/2017 11:45:16 AM
+1 point for you

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:45:35 AM
I’ve never had a ticket

9/5/2017 11:45:39 AM
+10 points

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:45:46 AM
I’ve never been in an accident

9/5/2017 11:45:52 AM
+20 points

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:46:14 AM
I prefer to drive because I hate the way other people drive and I generally feel that they aren’t paying attention

9/5/2017 11:46:23 AM
+1,000 points

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:46:51 AM
I do not consider myself an “agressive” driver, but I do drive fast.

9/5/2017 11:46:56 AM
-100 points

9/5/2017 11:47:04 AM
Do you drive fast around corners?

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:47:09 AM
I think I’m still out ahead

9/5/2017 11:47:13 AM
You are

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:47:34 AM
It would be dangerous to drive fast around corners

9/5/2017 11:47:38 AM
+2,000

9/5/2017 11:47:40 AM
Ok, I approve

9/5/2017 11:47:47 AM
Thank you for that.

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:48:00 AM
I typically drive about 10mph over the speed limit

9/5/2017 11:48:19 AM
Ok, I definitely approve of you.  Thank you very much, and I will do everything I can to not behave like Sheldon does in a car.

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:48:20 AM
and I will consider it my personal mission to arrive first

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:48:29 AM
bahahaha

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:49:12 AM
I liked this game

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:49:15 AM
It was fun

9/5/2017 11:49:38 AM
😛

9/5/2017 11:49:56 AM
Can I sit in front?

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:50:27 AM
I’m not sure I want you up front based on prior statements

9/5/2017 11:51:27 AM
Touche

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:53:07 AM
Do you plan to verbally criticize my driving the whole time or are you more one to hit your fake brakes?

9/5/2017 11:53:14 AM
Verbally criticize.

9/5/2017 11:53:19 AM
….I mean…

9/5/2017 11:53:25 AM
Offer suggestions in a non critical way

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:54:06 AM
That’s fine as long as you expect that I will probably tell you to shut up in a critial way

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:54:08 AM
critical

9/5/2017 11:54:32 AM
Well, really, make statements of facts.  “That was a scary curve”.  “We almost fell off the highway”. “This SUV might tip over”

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:54:56 AM
You seem to have a real fear of tipping…

9/5/2017 11:55:01 AM
Huge fear

9/5/2017 11:55:05 AM
And falling off the highway

9/5/2017 11:56:08 AM
I can also offer statements of support, sometimes.  “We are winning”.  “You just kicked Chris’s ass”.

9/5/2017 11:56:33 AM
“You did not tip the SUV over on that curve”

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:56:46 AM
Well…  In the 25+ years that I have been driving a car, I’ve only thought there was a minor chance of rolling said car once and that was do to the sheet of ice I was driving across at very slow speeds but with no control and the ditch on the side of the road.

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:57:21 AM
I don’t believe the same situation will present itself this week

9/5/2017 11:57:37 AM
I feel confident that it will not.

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 11:58:03 AM
and I will TOTALLY kick Chris’s ass

9/5/2017 11:59:15 AM
How much will it make people lose all respect for me if I wear a helmet?

Melissa Ing 9/5/2017 12:00:15 PM
You are not getting into my car wearing a helmet

9/5/2017 12:00:27 PM
It was worth asking.

Awesome Con Was Awesome!

I went to Awesome Con in Washington D.C. with my friends Josh and Jocelyn.  Try saying their names without saying “Joss and Joshlyn”, it’s really hard.

We didn’t do any typically touristy, but when we drove in and were stuck in traffic, we saw many embassy’s, including the Israeli one, and there were people in their non-western clothing.  That was me trying to say that correctly, what I actually said at the time were “LOOK!  PEOPLE IN ETHNIC CLOTHING!”.  I’d just like to point out that I said that because I am interested in and appreciate other cultures, not because I was like, being rude.  I mean, I’m sure it probably was rude, but if you know me, 75% of what I say is rude and that’s not how I intend it, so we should always start from the assumption that I am actually complimenting or appreciating someone/something.  I just get really excited and things come flying out my mouth!

Oh, on a similar note, when Jocelyn came to my house to leave her car there so we could all drive in Hamster Car, she looked very different than normal – she normally has very dark and curly hair and now it is straight and blonde.  This lead to me announcing to my mom that Jocelyn looked wrong and I didn’t like it.  My mom tried to cover for me and said that Jocelyn looked lovely, and she does – but SHE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE JOCEYLN.  That was my point.  But Jocelyn does look very pretty as Not Jocelyn with straight blonde hair.

Ok, enough about that.

Friday night we registered our VIP things, and we ate dinner, and that’s kind of it.

Saturday, though.  Oh, Saturday.  Here is what we looked like waiting in line to see David Tennant talk about….well, he was supposed to be talking with two scientist guys about space and time, but actually, they just asked him questions about Dr. Who.  That’s ok, too.

19225549_10213122828242953_5310152533628063941_n

We made a friend in line named Dean, and he was very nice.  We lost him in the crowd after David Tennant was done talking, though.  One of the highlights was when there were questions from the audience, and a little kid came up to the mic dressed as The Empty Child from the Dr. Who episode, and DT said “Ohhhh, I know what you’re going to ask” and as soon as people were done laughing, the kid said “Are you my mummy?” and it was great.  That whole family had amazing costumes.  Here is a picture of them that I found online.

dc81

We went straight from the DT panel to Jocelyn’s picture with him, and she was in full blown panic mode, even after I drugged her.  She also…well, when Jocelyn gets nervous she…in her words, “the whole weekend was about anxiety and shitting”.  So there’s that.  I think there were three trips to the bathroom before her picture with David Tennant?  Anyway, this was the awesome result…

19146142_10213124138675713_683390031626749854_n

Josh and I were waiting to receive Jocelyn after her picture, and she was positively giddy – the smile on her face in this picture doesn’t even do her level of fangirling justice.  There was much screeching from all of us and then….Jocelyn had to poop again.

Then she had to get right back in line for her picture with John Barrowman.

Josh and I got in line for our “duo” photo ops – you see, when we all purchased these, something went wonky and Jocelyn ended up buying David and John separate, rather than together.  This is relevant in a minute.

She went in for her picture with John Barrowman, but Josh and I were stuck in line and couldn’t receive her as she came out, so we just watched from a distance as Jocelyn walked with very serious intent and a look of absolute determination on her face right past us.  Josh said “She’s either really mad or….she has to shit again”.  Guess which one it was!

NOW WE ARE AT MY PART!  I was in line before Josh for the duo photo, so we’re standing there, and we’re both dying, and we’re watching freaking David Tennant and John Barrowman do all these poses with people and interacting with people and being super adorable.  They worked so well together that they didn’t even have to like, consult each other – they’d strike a perfect pose based on what the person in line requested in a matter of 10 seconds.  The people in front of us – the guy had a Captain Jack coat, and a gun.  The girl had a Sonic Screwdriver and glasses.  They got up to DT and JB and said “Could you wear these?” and I am not exaggerating, this picture happened instantly.  They put on their props and struck the pose and omg.

dc64

So the moral of the story is that they are perfect.  I get up there, and in the past, when I have done photo ops with people, the most I’ve been able to do is kind of shout their own name at them – the best example being me shouting “DAVID DUCHOVNY” at David Duchovny.  This time, I was very concerned about my fat.  I am not normally concerned about my fat, I get my picture taken and I don’t mind – but after looking at various Comic Con pictures, I started getting really self conscious about my arms in particular.  So I get up there and John says “Hey sweetheart, how do you want to pose?” and I said “Could you guys stand in front of me so I’m not all fat and in the front?” and again, no questions, just instant pose and BOOM, this (it’s signed, more on that in a minute):

DT and JB right way

After the picture, you basically rush out the door and the next person is already posing with them, but…OMG BUT…John put his hands on my shoulders and looked straight at me and said “and just so you know, honey, you’re beautiful”.  Please click here for the very personal reason that John Barrowman’s comment to me made me have a really emotional reaction that has stuck with me this entire week.

Here is Josh’s picture that occurred right after mine:

19222871_10154821307982725_3461497075465698798_o

Josh and I did not have photo op tickets to get a picture with John Barrowman by himself, but we were both so entranced by him, we bought them.  John Barrowman is known for his fun and crazy pictures with people, he’ll pretty much do anything.  He and Josh confirmed that they wanted to do a funny picture, and JB said “Can I grab your butt?” and Josh said, without hesitation, “YES”, and this picture was born.

JB and JB

Then it was my turn.  His default pose is a giant bear hug and despite my general opposition to being hugged, touched, or allowing people into my territorial bubble, I was COMPLETELY fine with this.  But of course, first he had to make me have feelings again.  Hours had passed since the duo photo, and he’d seen hundreds and hundreds of people between this picture and the last one.  When I came up to him, he said “Bring it in, sweetheart”, which is a common thing for him to say, but then he did just a pause for a second and looked straight at me and said “Remember, you’re beautiful”.  Here I am, being completely fine with being hugged…and kind of basically also melting.

JB

I am realizing this post is already so long, I think I should do Saturday, Part II in another post!  THIS WAS JUST A SPAN OF 6 HOURS!

So stay tuned for Saturday, Part II – John Barrowman and David Tennant autographs, the Green Power Ranger, and Carson Kressley.

In the meantime, check out Josh’s vlog about Awesome Con and I invite my two coauthors, Josh and Jocelyn, to post comments with their stories!!