I Drove a Giant Moving Truck to Virginia

If my past tense/future perfect/past perfect future tenses don’t make sense, that’s because I’m writing this and the next couple blogs after the fact. I took PLENTY of notes, but didn’t have access to this iWeb thing, so I couldn’t actually post anything.

Ok, so I was all gung ho about driving a 10 foot moving truck from Cleveland, Ohio to Richmond, Virginia. I thought, hey, cool, a giant truck. As I mentioned before, it wasn’t so much a truck as it was a metal box of death. So instead of leaving at 3am and driving straight through with my cousin driving behind me, I decided to drive half way there on Saturday, stay at a hotel, and drive the rest of the way on Sunday. Best freaking choice I’ve ever made.

For those of you who don’t know, I have a tendency to fall asleep. Driving, talking, walking, sitting, standing, in public places, at work, at school, while sitting at the kitchen table helping AJ with homework – I can pass out at literally any minute. This has become a bit of an issue with my driving. Towards the end of my 4.5 hour drive to my stopping point, I started falling asleep. Yes, I can fall asleep even while terrified and driving a truck. So I decided that in order to stay awake, I need to be entertained, so I started waving frantically and enthusiastically to every semi-truck that passed me. The most I got was a hesitant, unenthusiastic wave back, but hey, it kept me awake. I think maybe they thought I was a “special” trucker, but in my heart of hearts, I know I am a true trucker.

I got to my hotel where expedia.com had supposedly made my reservations. Long story short, I got my room, paid twice, and was refunded once. I jumped on the bed. I watched the Disney channel without anyone making fun of me. I parallel parked the 10 foot truck. And the next morning I started out bright and early after driving the horribly awkward truck through a Starbucks drive through, which may not have been the best choice. I have learned not to do that anymore. I also paid 2$ for a Gatorade out of a vending machine and it was supposed to be green and it came out orange.

This part of the trip went pretty quick, except for the fact that you can not trust Google Maps on the iPhone to get you where you are going. I took a few detours. BUT I GOT THERE! My cousin Shannon had to back the truck into a parking spot because I do NOT drive trucks (or cars) backwards. It confuses me and I panic when I have to figure out which way to turn the wheel.

With a TON of help from my cousin Mark (Shannon’s brother), we got the truck unloaded and into the condo. I met the neighbor’s dogs, and I’m pretty sure they had humans with them, but I don’t remember that part.

We had dinner, and I am totally exposing my cousins here, but this is too funny to pass up. When Shannon got me alone, she said about her brother “I have so much work to do on him”. When Mark got me alone, he said about his sister, “I have so much work to do on her”. I wonder if they have any idea what they are in for! But the cool part is that Shannon LOVES her sister in law, brother, and niece and nephew, and that will be a great help to Mark and Lauren. See the Quotes section of my webpage for some pretty awesome quotes from them!

Mark took me to my hotel, which totally kicked ass. The Double Tree by the airport in Richmond. They gave us cookies when we checked in. Then my room was just awesome. I jumped on more beds. I watched Glee on Hulu. I had a lovely time. On a less positive note, Mark got stuck for hours in traffic because of a huge accident where there were dead people and everything. So one point for me, and one point for me traumatizing my cousin in the process.

Check out was at noon, but my flight wasn’t until 3, but I’m such a paranoid flyer, I was ok being there that early. Then my flight was delayed by 3 hours. It was storming out. More things that are not good for a nervous flyer. I was on my third Dramamine and third Klonopin at this point, so I was pretty much ready for anything. I read a book on my Kindle. Which book, you ask? I have no idea. Some YA novel about vampires, what else? Every YA novel these days is about vampires.

I boarded the plane like a pro, put my backpack in the overhead compartment and kept my purse with me….and as I sat there, I panicked because Moose Moose was in my backpack and I needed him. I needed him NOW. So I got up rather abruptly, hit my head on the ceiling, opened the overhead thingy and had my backpack fall out on me. Needless to say, at this point, everyone was watching me. So they watched me pull a stuffed Moose out of my backpack, stuff my backpack back in the overhead thingy, and sit down with the Moose. They got a show, and I felt better. Win/win.

Here’s what I did not expect – flying into JFK and being dropped off in the middle of the tarmac which I had to get to by going down an really steep, unstable, see through flight of stairs that my ass could barely fit through. And I was holding a Moose, a backpack and a purse. Then I had to walk through the rain to find my luggage.

I had been warned NOT to take a taxi from the airport, so I found a nice lady (actually, she was really pissed off and bitter) who arranges transportation to hotels. By the end of our transaction, my “I’m not quite retarded, but it’s a fine line” personality had won her over and she was laughing and calling me honey.

The Van of Death pulled up and I got in, the front seat, thankfully. There were people stuffed like sardines in the back rows and I probably would have thrown up on them at that point. 45 minutes later, and several near death experiences later, I arrived at my hotel, which was lovely…and had cookies. I checked in to my room, jumped on the bed, set up all my stuff and promptly went out to wander the streets of NYC. Food was becoming a glaring necessity, as I hadn’t eaten all day for fear of throwing up on people. Some guy said “Want tickets to a comedy club?” and I said “Is there food?” and he said “yes”, so I went. It was actually really funny and my dinner consisted of tortilla chips and mozzarella sticks.

I went back to my hotel and pretty much dropped over dead from a long ass day, but it was totally cool and I loved it. I already had theaters plotted out and found all 9 Starbucks within a two minute walk from me.