So It’s a Little Late…New York Part II

Ok, I’ve completely failed at the blogging thing, right? I can admit that, that’s fine. Here’s what happened: When I have a commitment, I am incapable of doing anything at all towards it. For instance, I knew I was going to move home for about a week before I actually did. The very thought of packing in a timely manner freaked me out so badly, all I could do was sit, frozen, and not do anything. I’ve had appointments that if I am not early enough (not late, just not early enough), I will freeze and sit there until the appointment time has passed. So this blog, it was hanging over my head. “Darcy”, it said. “Your five readers want to know about the second half of your trip to New York. Tell them, Darcy. Tell them”. And I froze. I actually, and I am so totally not making this up, avoided the computer I use to write the blog on. If I’m on my laptop, well hey, I CAN’T write in the blog because I don’t have the program on there. So for the past month or whatever it’s been, my lovely iMac in my bedroom has not been touched.

I finally got sick of thinking “Wow, I wish I could sync my iPhone” (again, that only happens on the iMac, not the laptop), and I just sat down and used it. Then I froze and watched You Tube videos for several hours. Now I have finally faced my blog and, with the help of decaf coffee and peanut butter M&Ms, I am writing in my neglected blog.

So that second half of the New York City trip, ready for it? I don’t remember what order things happened in anymore, so this is just a random assortment of the events. I went to see The Lion King. I’ve never seen the movie and I’ve never seen the play. I do not watch animated Disney films because they always kill off an animal and I just can’t handle that. I’ve seen a few, and I’ve seen all the Pixar films, but most classic Disney I have not seen. Anyway, that theater is freaking HUGE. It’s pretty sweet. I decided I didn’t want to scrunch into yet another too small seat with my Uber Hoodie on, so I checked my coat and, consequently, my purse. That meant that once I was seated (45 minutes early), I got thirsty. So I had to go uncheck my purse, get money, and buy a beverage. I sat back down and was joined by a woman and her 6-7 year old daughter. We said hi and all that, but mostly I pretended I was busy doing something on my phone, which had run out of power, so I was actually staring at a blank screen. The show started, and it was super neat. Right up until this freaking HUGE giant elephant came walking down the aisle RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Ok, there were two French men between me and the elephant, but it might as well have been right next to me. Those of you who know me know that my startle reflex is, putting it mildly, sensitive. I got startled. I saw the elephant, grabbed the woman next to me and started crying. I am not even kidding. Ok, it wasn’t all out sobbing, it was just my immediate reaction. I stopped really quickly, I swear! Look at the freaking elephant in the picture on this entry – it was HUGE. But then I needed to take Klonopin, but guess what? My purse was checked. I’m no dummy, and I know myself, so I had multiple Klonopin pills in my pocket, which I promptly took. So the rest of the show was fantastic. At intermission, the woman next to me could NOT stop laughing with (at) me about my reaction. So we became the best of friends and she asked me to watch her daughter while she went to the bathroom. I’m not so great with kids, so I stared at her for a minute and finally said “So do you like it?” and she took it from there. I know where she lives, how old she is, how many siblings she has, all about her parents divorce and her new dad. I could have very easily kidnapped her, but I chose not to, because I don’t like kids and I certainly didn’t want one following me around New York.

One of the days I decided to be in the audience of Dave Letterman’s show. I got my ticket and was told to come back in two hours, and that the bar around the corner has really good food. I went there, and met my…I wouldn’t say ultimate fear…but something I don’t like. There was one seat in the whole place and it was at the bar, right in the middle. I sat there. I was brave. And I must be incredibly trustworthy looking because the guy next to me asked me to watch his briefcase and food while he took a phone call outside. Anyway, I had the best chicken fingers ever in the world there. Most everyone else had many adult beverages. By the time we all got back to the theater, most people were pretty drunk. We were instructed on what to do, how to laugh, what noises we COULD make and what noises we COULD NOT make (WOOOO was one of those noises). We were told that even if we didn’t get a joke, we had to laugh very loudly at it, because there is no laugh track, it just depends on us. So, we had to sit through Paul Schaeffer and his band playing music for a long time and we were forced to clap along with it. To every. Single. Song. Clap clap clap clap. It was horrible. Then finally Dave Letterman came out, and that was just surreal, seeing him that close (I was about four rows back, right in the center). He immediately zoomed in on a kid wearing a Michigan tee shirt, and the kid turned out to be from Germany, so Dave went with that through the entire “pre-show” thing. THEN he went with it through the show! The kid made it into the Top Ten List! It was very funny. Donald Trump was on, and he was such a strange color of orange I wasn’t sure if he was human. Vanessa Hudgens was also on, and she was super pretty and very cute. Then Oh Land (I think that’s how you spell it) performed and it was very strange. All in all, it was very fun.

After that, I wandered from theater to theater to see what kind of tickets I could score, and I think that was the night I saw Billy Elliot.

Oh, I should add, I tried the Wicked lotto every night, and every single night, out of say, 30 tickets, 28 of them were won by Asian people who did not seem to speak English. I was very amused that the actress playing Elphaba (the green witch) was named Teal in real life.

Ok, I’m done for now. I’m still working on figuring out how to make the Book Talk forum interactive.

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