My Technology Is Problematic

June 3, 2012

Wow, so I’m here on this new format and new website, and I can do a lot more – but everything is rebelling against me!  I did manage to get a few links up, all by myself.  AJ was the one who had to set up everything else, of course.  This is WAY better than my old site!   Also, my wifi isn’t working and I had to buy a new AirPort and now my mom is mad because I’m using the iMac (also known as MY iMac) and this is the time she usually gets online to play Pogo.

So how have I been, you ask?  I have been fabulous!  I got a new job at a really awesome place and I love it so much that I actually look forward to waking up and going to work every day!  There are dogs and cats in the office, my co-workers and supervisors are all sincerely nice, drama free people, and I enjoy the job itself.  I haven’t made an ass of myself yet, and that is always a plus.

But really, no one comes here to read about how I’m NOT making an ass of myself, so here’s my adventure from today.  My dad and I went to a local huge ginormous farm like thing.  It’s a farm, but it’s not like, a guy growing corn and selling it on the side of the road.  It’s like a farm attraction, but it’s also a functioning farm.  I mean, they milk the cows, at any rate.  It’s like going to the zoo but with farm animals.  So there we are, petting cows (which are HUGE – do you have any idea how HUGE cows are??), and they say “Hey, we’re going to milk a cow.  Sit down and watch”.  So my dad and I sit with a bunch of other parents and their little children, and a cow walks up the steps, which I found hilarious, on to this platform.  My dad and I exchanged the following banter….”he he, the cow is going up the stairs” “HA, look at that!  He knows how to go up stairs!” “BUAHAHAHA the cow is walking up the stairs!!”.  I did not fall far from the tree.  Then a little kid decided to tell me that if they are going to milk the cow, it’s a she, not a he.  I ignored it (the kid).  So then a girl who looks EXACTLY like my friend Kira started talking about cow milking, and she asked “What do cows eat”?  Someone said “Hay”, and she said “Yes, but what else?  I’ll give you a hint – it’s green and all over”, and in the most spastic, special way, I bounced up and down and YELLED “Grass!!!!”  My dad put his head down and his shoulders were heaving from laughter, and I immediately followed my bellow up with “Oh my gosh, I’m sorry”.  The Kira Look Alike laughed and said it was ok, but did not stop laughing.  So that was my number one Special Moment.

Number Two Special Moment came when I found a cat in the horse arena area.  I sat on the bleachers next to the cat and pet him while my dad watched me.  Then a freaking HOARDE of children came bellowing their way in, and came straight for the cat.  This one obnoxious kid who I earlier caught banging on a chicken coop and saying “Ha, I scared them”, came straight up to the cat and said “Is that your cat?”  Now I’m a horrible liar, everyone knows this.  I just don’t lie.  But apparently when I think I’m protecting animals, I can lie like a mofo.  I said “Yes”.  He said “What’s his name?”  I said “Sam.”  He said “Is it a boy or a girl?”  I said “He’s a boy.”  He said “Where does he live?” and I said “In the barn.”  This is all going at the speed of light, and I’m answering as if I know what the hell I’m talking about, it was unreal.  My dad, meanwhile, is standing behind the kids laughing his head off.  The kid said “Do you live here?”  I said “No.”  ”Do you take him home at night?”  ”No, he likes staying here.”  ”Does he chase birds?”  ”All cats chase birds.”  ”Why does he like it here?”  ”If you were a cat, wouldn’t you?”  ”Can I pet him?”  ”Only if you are very gentle and quiet, or else he’ll bite you.”  Please note that this cat is the calmest cat I have ever seen, and the chance of him biting anyone seemed pretty slim.  So these kids are petting “Sam” and asking me more about him when an adult says “Ok, leave Sam alone, it’s time for pizza” and all the kids left.  I later found out that the cat’s name is PK, for Pig Kitty, because 18 years ago his mom left him and he was raised by a pig.

Number Three Special Moment probably should be labeled Number Two because this was when we were looking at the horses, and I was near the head of the horse, and my dad was near the back end of the horse (you’ve already figured out where this is going).  The horse was in a large, you know, horse container.  Like a house.  Those things they keep horses in.  A stable?  I don’t know, whatever it is he lives in, that’s where the horse was.  So there was a wall between us and him.  But I completely ignored this fact, watched the horse lift his tail up and then I leaped on my dad and yelled “LOOK OUT!” and “saved” him from the horse pooping.  This was ridiculous because a) there was no way the horse was going to poop on us;  b) I acted like I was jumping on a hand grenade which was a bit extreme given the circumstances and c) there was a freaking wall between us and the horse.

I am now going to attempt to put videos and pictures of things I saw today into this blog.