Hello. Today’s post is about how much I hate when people post things in various places like Facebook or Twitter and they start it out with “That moment when…” and then they say something really stupid. People chronicle their entire day like that. “That moment when you leave your house and forget your coffee.” Ten minutes later…”That moment when you get to work and remember there is a coffee maker here.” Ten minutes later…”That moment when you realize you like the coffee from home better.” You know what? Those are stupid, stupid moments. And it’s a stupid way of saying things. I never want anyone to say something that starts with “That moment when” again. NEVER!!!
Someone actually posted the following, which is not word for word but is basically what they wrote, on Facebook. And I really hope that person doesn’t read my blog, but if you do, I’m sorry, you need to be stopped. “That moment when you have to quit smoking pot because you have had all the jobs that don’t drug test.” First of all, an entire conversation about smoking pot followed, and that is a public place, and your future employers see that, and hey, POT IS STILL ILLEGAL! And that’s not a freaking moment, that’s like, a lot of moments. It’s a continuous thing. I am not smoking pot now. I am not smoking pot now, either. Also, now I am not smoking pot. So you can’t say “That moment..” because there are a lot of moments involved right there. I think I’m going to make my Facebook status “That moment when I just killed someone and forgot to use gloves, so my fingerprints are all over the crime scene.” That’s how much all of this makes sense.
In Dartopia there will be an island for people who say/write “That moment when…” and they will ONLY be allowed to speak using that phrase for the rest of their lives. That means they will only hear other people speaking using that phrase, and they WILL ALL GO INSANE AND REALIZE HOW STUPID IT IS. Then they will regret ever having said it.
And I’m going to point out, this is a Percoset fueled post, and the Percoset is not doing its job and I am still in pain, so I may have some irrational anger right now. Probably not, I mean, I think my anger is completely rational about that phrase because it is SO STUPID, but maybe, just a teeny tiny bit of this is fueled by something less than my normal functioning brain. Maybe. Probably not, though.
There is another revival of Jesus Christ Superstar on Broadway right now. Here is the actor who plays Judas at this years Tony Awards. Here is the last revival which was much better and was only 12 years ago. How often can you revive something? Anyway, if you watch that first video, you will see a guy who is not entertaining to watch, not hot, not that great of a singer, and a performance that is lackluster and visually boring, and you will also see a super creepy Jesus. If you watch the second video, you will see a vibrant cast, better singers, a super hot Jesus and Judas, leather, and performance quality. If you see any reason to like the first video better than the second video, you should post and tell me, because I think it is just awful. I would fear Jesus if he looked like that. I would think that this is actually Satan pretending to be Jesus because he looks demonic and possessed and his facial hair is just REALLY freaky.
I want to go swimming, but I only want to go swimming in a private swimming pool that has a lot of chemicals in it, or the Bahamas because every picture of the beaches in the Bahamas shows perfectly clear water, perfectly white sand underneath the water, and no slimy weird things in the water waiting to attach themselves to me, sting me, or eat me. If that is a lie, then I only want to go swimming in a highly chlorinated private pool.
Now it’s time for That Moment When I end my post, but you see, it’s not one moment. This post is going to be ended forever, so it’s going to keep being a moment forever. This post is over in this moment, this moment, this moment, and the next 80 gazillion moments. NEVER say that phrase. Just don’t. I can’t take it. It’s making me itchy.