A Very Good Question That Everyone Should Read

Here is what someone posted via the Ask the Darcy link:

What’s the advice you would give to someone born today, when he or she is old enough to read this? What is your mantra?

I would probably have way too much advice to give to the point that the person would not listen to me anymore.  But honestly, I would tell them to be who they are, no matter who that is, and if they don’t know who they are, be patient and they’ll find out.  Don’t try to be like other people, just be you until you figure out what exactly “you” is.  Don’t adopt a persona based on something someone else has established, start from the beginning with your own persona.  If you find it happens to fit in with another established group, great.  If not, just be you.

I would tell them that telling the truth is essential.  About yourself, about things that have happened, about your opinions – because if you don’t you start getting confused about what you believe and what you really identify with.

I would tell them that their parents are going to embarrass them and that is all there is to it, and that every other kid is going to appear to have really awesome parents, but chances are, your parents are pretty damn cool, too.  Being able to not be embarrassed by your parents is one of the marks of being an adult.  If you can realize that at a younger age, that is ideal.

Don’t drink until you are old enough because it will only result in embarrassing pictures and bad decisions, and even when you are old enough, go easy on it.  Try some drugs, but not the hardcore stuff, I’d recommend some prescription sedatives or pain killers.  If you like it too much, never drink or take any kinds of pills again.  There’s enjoying a few hours of peace, and then there’s NEEDING a few hours of peace.

This is completely hypocritical, but I would tell them not to eat junk food.  Ever.  Just don’t even start.  If you don’t taste it, you don’t know what you are missing, and you are better off.  Take care of your body and what you put in it because if you don’t, you will never feel right.  You don’t have to be skinny, that is not what I’m saying.  Just put things in your body that are good.

Read everything, starting at a very young age.  Ask questions, but be respectful.  Don’t challenge authority for the sake of challenging authority – wait until you have a really good cause and then establish an actual movement – don’t just be a jerk and say “I hate cops” because you had a bad experience.

Don’t go through stages.  Every person goes through a “depressed” phase, a “I just learned about philosophy” stage, a “I need to go to the Nile and build huts for people” stage.  Avoid stages.  Just do things and don’t make a big deal out of it.

Know that you are not special in the world, but you are special in the universe and understand the difference.

No one owes you anything and you have no “right” to anything.

Hurt no one.  Ever.

Don’t be afraid to tell on people when it comes to big things – you could be the one who saves someone else’s life because you called the police when someone was getting too hotheaded.

Don’t waste your time hating or being angry.  There will be a few people in your life who you will legitimately and justifiably hate, and that’s ok, but really, you don’t need to waste your time with someone who cut you off in traffic.  Just be calm.  Anger and harsh words have more impact if you use them rarely.  Be the rational one.

Help everyone you can.  It’s our job to take care of the world, and that includes the people and animals in it, so do it.  Don’t look the other way.  Don’t assume someone else will do it.  If you see a stray animal, pick him up.  If you see a homeless person, ask them what they need.  If your friend hasn’t had a job in years and is trying really hard to get one, help him.  You are here to serve others and you are entitled to nothing.  If you see something wrong, make it right.  Thank people and bring hostess gifts.

All of that is going to result in you being an adult wondering “Why hasn’t anyone done this kind of stuff for me”, but if you’ve lived your life this way and you look back, you’ll see that people have.  Live for others.  Sometimes you are going to want to scream “What about me??” at the top of your lungs and you will feel extremely lonely, but take that time to go into your deepest thoughts and imagine the suffering of the world, the worst of the worst, the most horrible living situations – and then let go of the “What about me” thoughts.

Every once in awhile, though, indulge.  Not often and not excessively, and definitely not when you are feeling sorry for yourself.  When you are doing good for others and living for others and you are happy doing it, take a minute and do something for yourself.

Imagine.  Use your brain to imagine what you can do, what other people’s lives are like, the suffering and pain and fear that covers the entire world and get yourself so absorbed in the horrible fear and panic and anger and sadness that you come out of your imagination with a newfound fire to help fix the bad things.  When you get too overwhelmed and find that you are having trouble leaving your house because of all the badness, imagine the good parts.

Learn how to use your wings.  We all have them but so few people know it.  Wrap your wings around the people who need it most and put all of your energy into transferring your joy and peace to them, and taking their pain and fear away.

Find beauty and joy and peace and love in EVERYTHING and then spread it.

Here’s the one that will cause the most issues, but God exists.  Science exists and explains everything, and don’t let anyone tell you that the dinosaurs coexisted peacefully with humans or that evolution never happened.   God exists in your soul, and it is your soul that will dictate how you live your life.

As for my mantra, it is stolen from, I think, Pema Chodron.  It is also paraphrased.  It is “I am alive in this moment, and this moment is beautiful”.

Thank you very much to whoever posed that question, I think it’s something everyone should think about, answer, and then start living their lives accordingly.

One thought on “A Very Good Question That Everyone Should Read

  1. Beautiful! I would add not to write about your feelings online in public until you’re at least 25. I’m so grateful the internet wasn’t around when I was a dramatic teenager.

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