Today I Saw A Giant Cricket.

A user asked via the Ask the Darcy link:

tell me about women’s rights.

First and foremost, I want to tell you about the contest I am having and about how you should enter it and win real prizes, not crappy ones.

Secondly, the title of this post has nothing to do with the content of this post, although the title is true, I did see a really giant cricket today, and we know how I feel about that.  But it did not land on me, so it was ok.

Now, women’s rights.  The notion of Women’s rights is as stupid as Gay rights, senior citizen rights or Black people rights.  The reason they are all stupid?  Because no one’s “rights” should be any different than anyone else’s rights if they are living in the same freaking country.  That is absurd.  There is absolutely no reason every single person who lives in the same country should not have every single thing be the same.

If you are a man and you have the same credentials as a woman and the same experience, then there should be no difference in pay until one person starts out performing the other.  Pay based on merit, it’s crazy, I know, but that’s what should happen.

If you have a person you love you should be able to marry them.  That’s all there is to that.

There are Human Rights and that is all.  There are no distinctions after “human”.

In Dartopia, if you think you need to separate “rights” into further categories, you will be put on an island where everyone around you has a great life and works at the jobs they want and marries the people they want and you will not be allowed to do any of those things.  You will be paid less, not allowed to marry anyone, and you, along with all the other “Rights Separators” will have access to one single public bathroom.  And it will be a Port O Potty.  You will only have access to housing that the rest of the people on the island don’t want.  In fact, I will build a ghetto section on the island just for Rights Separators.  Everyone else will live in nice houses.  Once you’ve learned that it sucks to separate things based on ANYTHING, you can be reincorporated into society.

I’m just going to throw this in as well, we need to rewrite the constitution.  The Founding Fathers were great and they did really fantastic things (that’s the extent of my history knowledge) (not really), but they lived a long time ago and things have changed.  Or maybe we don’t need to change it, just make a few side notes, like “You can bear arms unless you are bat shit crazy or intend to kill people with them”.  I think that’s pretty clear.  And then add an amendment that says “The things described in this constitution actually apply to everyone, just FYI”.  And Amend the First Amendment to say “Freedom of religion and that doesn’t mean kill people if they aren’t your preferred religion” and “Freedom of speech as long as you aren’t being a complete jerk and holding up signs that say mean things”.

Now go enter my contest.