The Private Lives Of Sea Monkeys.

I have Sea Monkeys.  They are really neat and you can see their eye balls.  I have about 20 Sea Monkeys, and four of them are in relationships – John, Paul, George and Ringo.  It’s not a four Sea Monkey relationship, they are paired off in couples.  I’m not exactly sure if it’s George with Paul, and Ringo with John, or how they’ve worked that out.  At any rate, there will be Sea Monkey babies soon.

Many of you may be wondering, where do baby Sea Monkeys come from?  I will tell you.  The mommy Sea Monkey and the daddy Sea Monkey, in this case we’ll say Ringo and John, stick themselves together and the one on top grows an egg.  Eventually the baby Sea Monkeys come out of the Sea Monkey egg.

A Sea Monkey looks like this:  ___o   So when they have their special time, it looks like this:


So you see, the one on top has a giant egg on his back.  The one on the bottom has his head stuck on the stomach of the one on top, right where the egg is.  So I think Sea Monkey boy parts come out of their head like a horn.

That’s all I know about Sea Monkeys right now.

Tonight we had an Open House at my place of employment and Ken the Hamster visited everyone who came, and he pooped on some people.  I told them that meant they are more likely to be hired.

I still have a really good question waiting in the Ask the Darcy queue, I’m just waiting till I’m not super tired to answer it so I can properly convey the traumatic events of my childhood that caused me to be the spazz I am today.  In the meantime, send in more question/statements/pieces of a poem/quotes from movies and I will answer them.  And since I have no knowledge of pop culture, I will answer everything literally and not realize it if you are repeating something from a movie or tv show, as my brother proved to me.

Speaking of my brother, he is really funny.  He also plays the guitar.  This is why I think he needs to enter my contest with his super cute kids (my nieces).

Speaking of my nieces, they are 6 and 9 and they are smarter than I am.  It’s intimidating.  My 9 year old niece, Maggie, was answering my questions about how her school works (while my 6 year old niece Emily answered with statements like “Alligators eat mice”).  They are studying maps and map keys and legends and things like that.  She said they also studied that last year.  I remember spending an insane amount of time on that as well, and you know what?  I have a freaking GPS on my phone.  I have never used my map reading skills.  I don’t plan on getting lost in the woods where I might need to know that an inch equals a hundred miles.  I think they really need to cut the map section a little shorter and focus on world geography a lot more.  Because while I can now read a map and tell you approximately how far France is from Egypt, I could probably not point out Egypt on a map and hit the correct box.  There’s a lot of boxes in Africa, and I am 99% sure I would pick the wrong one.  I think most people would, actually.  So – less time learning that a teepee symbol means there is shelter in that location, and more time learning where the hell things are and what they do there.  “This is a country that wants to kill us”, “This is a country that has oil and also wants to kill us”, “This is a country where you can find any drug you want…and they want to kill us”, etc.

In Dartopia, there will be a very strict curriculum with very high standards, and everyone would have to go through school again to be educated under MY system.  I don’t care if you are 80, you are redoing 4th grade.  I am going to have to think this over and come up with Dartopia Schooling.  I think it’s time for a Dartopia button on the home page.

Oh yeah, and enter my contest before my head explodes because there aren’t 12 entries like I thought there would be.  The deadline has been extended to Sept. 10th.