I Am An Avocado Eating Elitist Jerk.

A user asked, via the Ask the Darcy link:

tennis balls and avocados – related?

First of all, that is a stupid question.  Even I know that they are not related, and there are a lot of things I do not know.  But, if I really must, the main difference between an avocado and a tennis ball is that tennis balls bounce.  Duh.

On to avocados.  Apparently, they are expensive.  So now I feel like some kind of snobby, avocado eating jerk.  It is definitely not that I am a rich person and can just throw my money away on eating avocados, it is that I do not keep track of what things cost, and if I want an avocado, I buy one and eat it.

Here is another little known but easily guessable fact about me, I am terrible at hosting parties.  I am hosting a Game Day at my house at 6pm, and it is currently 2:25pm, and I have only succeeded in cleaning the bathroom and the family room.  I figure, with the other rooms, I just won’t let people go in them.  But I still have not gone to the grocery store to buy food.  Instead, I am writing a blog post.  I panic at the thought of the grocery store and at the thought of something happening at a particular time.  Once I get to the grocery store, I will freeze, panic, hyperventilate, and then buy way too much.  This time I am going with a list so that does not happen.

Here is the conversation that happened this morning.  My parents have these kids from a church come and rake our backyard, because there are TONS of leaves and they are too old and I am too decrepit to do it.  So 15 kids show up and get it done in 20 minutes.  It is pouring out, because there is a hurricane going on, so my mom decided they need hot chocolate.  We have those packets of Swiss Miss hot chocolate.  My mom says “Darcy, go to the store, we need milk”.  My dad says “No we don’t, that’s made with water”.  My mom says “I don’t like it that way, get milk”.  My dad says “That’s like adding milk to milk, do you normally make your milk with extra milk?”  My mom said “I don’t know what you are talking, Darcy, go get milk”.  My dad said “When you add water, it makes milk things happen, you don’t need milk, it’s perfectly fine with water”.  My mom likes to complicate things.

I am going to attempt to make forward progress now.

Oh Lord, now my mom is yelling to the kids, who have moved next door, that there are brownies in the garage.  At least her heart is in the right place.