Here Is Why You Should Look At People.

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For the first month or two at work, I did not know what the Marketing people or the Website/IT guys looked like.  This is because I would walk into work with my head down and not look at anyone directly, and they are on the right side of the office, and I am on the left, so there was no real reason for me to look at any of them.  I could identify most of the people who worked on the left side.

Anyway, now I know what they look like.

I do not look at people.  I find it nerve wracking and if I look at their face I do not hear what they are saying and it just makes me nervous.  Sometimes this is a problem.  For instance, I could have run into one of my coworkers from the right side of the building on the street and I would not know who they were, and that would have been embarrassing.  Or, I could put on my superhero cape to save someone who looks like the above mug shot and because I never looked at their face, I would not realize what a drug addicted ass face I was “helping”.  That guy up there is Jesse Dombeck, by the way.  Perhaps you remember him from this post or maybe even this post.  

You know, just in case you don’t remember, that was where I asked you to “not” do anything evil or mean to this person whose phone number is 216-386-0762.  It’s a cell phone, he can text.  And whose address is 6070 Andover Blvd. Garfield Heights, OH  44125.  I’m still, of course, not asking you to do anything evil or mean to him.  I personally text him every day to remind him what a piece of worthless crap he is.  Sometimes he responds that I should stop harassing him.  I tell him I’ll stop harassing him when he pays me back the money he stole – which, when you figure in the credit card charges, is about $1,200.

The point of this post is that I need to look at people more often.  I am one of those people who could witness a crime and only remember that the color of the car was red, and really, it wasn’t even red, it was blue.  I would make an awful eye witness in court.  I would be the one to point to a guy in a line up who is 6 feet tall and thin when the real criminal was a midget woman.

I have introduced myself to people I have already met and I would most likely introduce myself again because I STILL don’t know what they look like.

John Laroquette, who I was specifically looking for, walked so close to me that he literally brushed my coat, and I did not see him because I was looking at the ground and not at faces.  Also, he was wearing a baseball hat and that alone is enough to throw me off completely.

The moral of this story is that you should look at people and maybe try to learn who they are, especially if you work with them or are likely to be conned by them.

The second part of this blog is about soft things.

AJ had a very fancy expensive scarf that he bought and it is essentially a small blanket and it is one of those scarves that has no end, it is a loop.  It is also one of the softest things ever in the world.  He wore it about once, and has not worn it since, so I declared that he should give it to me, because I like soft things and should have them all.  He reluctantly gave it to me and I have made good use of it.  I like to sleep with my head surrounded by soft things like my Night Night, Moose Moose, Pink Blanket and Linus Blanket except that Sabrina has declared Linus blanket as her own, so I don’t have that one anymore.  Now I have included Expensive Scarf in my line up and it works out wonderfully.  I wish that everyone could feel this scarf.  I also have Orange Scarf which is very soft, but nothing compared to Expensive Scarf.

There are leaves called Lamb’s Ears.  I do not know if that is the official name, but that is what Catharine called them.  On the rare occasion we would walk anywhere, she would always pluck some and hand one to me and I would pet it until it wasn’t soft anymore, and then she would hand me another.  This is how important soft things are, when your best friend doesn’t even have to be told to provide soft things, it is just a known fact.

At work, Cooper the Puggle and Bruiser the Mastiff have some of the softest ears ever.  I could pet them all day, but Cooper and Bruiser usually get up and leave at some point in the ear petting.

Also there was a baby at work today and I poked her in the cheeks and on the arm and on the hand, and she was soft, too.  I also booped her on the nose.

Soft things are good.  Not looking at people is bad.  I will continue to pet soft things.  I will also probably continue not to look at people.

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