I Am A Dog Racist.

We need to clear the air and discuss a very serious form of discrimination that is creeping into our country.  Teach your children from when they are born, Dog Racism will not be tolerated.

I sell pet insurance.  People call me and I tell them how much it will cost, and then they buy their insurance from me.  We have age limits – if your purebred dog is age 7 or older, he is only eligible for accident coverage, not accident and illness coverage.  Please note, it is based on your dog’s age, not your dog’s country of origin.

I thought it was pretty funny when I got the first call.  The caller said “So you won’t give my dog illness coverage because he’s german?”

gsdpup-jack-LindaMishler2I said no, it has nothing to do with that.  We can’t give your dog illness coverage because he’s 9 and a purebred.  She said “So I’m Mexican, are you saying I shouldn’t be allowed to have insurance”.  Now this threw me, it really did.  I was not expecting that.  She did not say her DOG is Mexican, she said SHE is Mexican.  I reiterated that it was because her dog is 9, it’s unrelated to her country of origin or the dog’s.  THEN she said “So then you’re saying that because I’m Mexican and over 30, you won’t give me health insurance”.  She wasn’t Mexican like “I don’t speak english very well and I am not understanding you”.  She was Mexican like maybe one of her grandparents visited there once.  I said that only thing I could think of, which was “You wouldn’t be able to use dog insurance at all, you are human”.

THAT VERY SAME DAY – a woman called about insurance for her Beagle, who was 4 years old.  Hey, he was eligible for accident AND illness coverage, yay!  But twice in the past year he’s eaten things he shouldn’t have and had to get them surgical removed.  We cover that stuff, but if it is happening more than once in a year (that requires surgery) in a non-puppy, that is considered a behavioral issue and we will stop covering the surgeries if they are happening more than once a year.  So the woman says to me “But he is a BEE-GULL”.  That’s how she said it.  With more of a pause in the middle, as if I am the most stupid person on earth and DUH, Beagles are SUPPOSED to eat things and require surgery.  You know, because Labs aren’t (Labs also eat everything) or Hound Dogs are (they eat everything).  Because this is a BEE…..GULL.  So I said “I understand that he’s a Beagle, but…” blah blah blah, my spiel about it being a behavioral issue.  Again, she says “HE IS.  A.  BEE…….GULL.”.  This is another English speaking person, it’s not like there was a lack of understanding.  Then she said that I am discriminating again him because he is a BEE………………………..GULL.  I said I’m not, that a lot of breeds eat things, but their owners usually train them not to (bad choice of words) and that is why it is behavioral.  Guess what she said?  I won’t even write it, you know what she said.  Then she went on about suing for discrimination (that actually only works on humans).  Somehow it came up that we don’t cover purebreds over age 7 for illnesses.  I don’t know how it came up, but it did.  She went in to a high pitched crazed thing about “filthy mixed breeds off the street” and how we’d cover them, but we are discriminating against her (I have to) BEE………………………………………………………………………………………………………..GULL.
I said that mixed breeds aren’t filthy (I took offense) and she basically said “whatever” and hung up.


TODAY a lady called and again with the 10 year old dog.  Mixed or not, we don’t cover 10 year old dogs for illnesses, just accidents (for new policies, if they’ve been under our plan and had illness coverage, they don’t lose it) (for the record).  She said “Why”, and I said “Because it’s one of the rules of our underwriters, there is a bigger risk the older a dog gets” and she said “So you don’t offer illness coverage for a 10 year old dog?” and I said “No” and she said “Why”.  I repeated what I said and she said “I want you to find out exactly why, you obviously don’t know”.  So I put her on hold and listened to my coworkers give me various ways of repeating the same thing so it sounds new, and I got back on and said “Because it’s one of the rules of our underwriters, there is a bigger risk the older a dog gets” and she said “So what you are saying is that your company hates older dogs and wants them all to die and you don’t even care about them.”  I said “I actually didn’t say that at all” and she said “DO NOT INTERRUPT ME YOU HAVE NO RIGHT INTERRUPTING ME LET ME FINISH WHAT I WAS SAYING”.  So I stopped talking and she said “What you are telling me is that you hate older dogs and you want them to die and you don’t care at all about them”.  I made sure she had stopped and I said “I never said that at all, what I said…” and she said “I TOLD YOU TO STOP INTERRUPTING ME YOU HAVE NO RIGHT INTERRUPTING ME”.  I couldn’t stop myself, so I got a little yelly and said “You just interrupted me, you weren’t talking, I was.”  More yelling about how I have no right talking when she is speaking, so I interrupted her to say “You interrupted me”.  Then she asked to talk to my supervisor.  Lisa got on the phone and the woman did the exact same thing to her – Lisa did not interrupt, but got yelled at for interrupting.  Lisa explained the same things I did and was “quoted” as saying we want older dogs to die, etc.  It ended with the woman wanting to talk to someone else.  We were running out of people to pass the phone to.


I like old dogs.


I like puppies.







I really hate it when people say I said something I didn’t.  The only time I completely, absolutely lost my mind (and cried) with a customer was when he told me he was going to post an article and he was going to quote me as saying I hate my company and that we lie and cheat.  Obviously, I didn’t say that at all.  In fact, during the whole conversation, I very vehemently described how my company is really freaking awesome and how we don’t lie and cheat.  He was just trying to freak me out, and he succeeded and I LOST MY SHIT on him.  You can quote me all night and all day as long as you are quoting me on things I actually said.  But you make shit up and say you are going to use my name, and I can not even handle it.  It was like, everything went black and the Hulk rage took over.  Words are important to me, mostly because I don’t lie at all ever, and if you put words in my mouth that I didn’t say, that is lying, and I won’t have it.  Wow does it make me mad.  I say enough things that could be quoted, why on earth would anyone need to make something up that I did not say?  Even worse is “So what you’re saying is…” because if you don’t repeat the exact same thing I just said, you have it wrong.  What I am saying is exactly what the words that came out of my mouth said.  You repeat those words, and yes, that is what I was saying.  If you do not repeat those words, the answer is no, that is not what I said.  How hard is that?? 


I like mixed breed dogs.


There is not a single animal I dislike, so when people accuse of me hating their pet, or whatever stupid story they come up with, I take it very personally.


I like cats.




Here is the usual – Ask the Darcy and Customer Satisfaction Survey!  GO DO THEM!

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