The Bitch Is Back…But Less Bitchy.

Well I did it again.  I got stuck and abandoned my website and let it sit here, and the more it sat here, the more I couldn’t go back to it because I felt bad and lazy.  This has happened before, like here. There are probably other prime examples of me ignoring something because it makes me feel guilty, I just can’t find it.

There are some great questions in the Ask the Darcy queue, one of which I actually wrote a really long response to with PICTURES.  The pictures were of stuffed animals I had in the 80’s – I found pictures of them (not mine in particular, but the same ones) online.  Then I thought, that’s dumb, I can just take pictures of mine.  You can imagine what happened…or maybe you can’t.  Well, here’s what happened.  I rescued all of them from the garage where they were in air tight containers but I didn’t believe that was enough to keep spiders out, so I dressed in Hazmat gear (long sleeves, a scarf, oven mitts and a spatula) and I pulled them out one by one and beat them with the spatula to get any spiders out.  There were no spiders.  Now the stuffed animals are all in my family room waiting to be posed for a picture.  But it took such time and effort to beat them all with a spatula that I didn’t have the energy to pose them and take pictures.  So I abandoned that.  Oh, but then I thought, I have nieces, I should make them do it.  I promised them ice cream if they set my stuffed animals up in a nice family portrait.  They did a half assed job and then I wanted ice cream, so we gave up and went to Dairy Queen.  The next day, they were forced to finish the job because they had been prepaid for it, and they got them all set up and my mom said “Now get in there and bury yourselves so you can just see your face sticking out and we’ll take creepy pictures”.  So that ruined all the effort they put into it.  On a positive note….

IMG_5558Can you spot my nieces looking creepy, sort of like dolls who are a little too lifelike?

To those of you who submitted Ask the Darcy questions, I seriously love them and they will be answered very soon.  I just wanted to write my sorry excuse for neglecting my website first.

There is a really neat app that you should download – it’s cheap or free, I don’t remember which – but it’s fun.  Click here to check it out and download it.  If you download it, leave a comment letting me know how you do.  Or you know, just download it and never tell me, I don’t really care.  You do what you want.  Just make sure that what you want is to download that app.  And no, I didn’t make it…..my uncle did. 

I have happy happy news, are you ready?  Part of the reason I haven’t posted anything is because it turns out, without Zoloft, I am a flaming insane bitch.  I went from Zen Darcy, happy all the time, always looking on the bright side – to a Darcy who wakes up in the morning and literally says “I hate everything”, and then trips over something and says “See?? The Universe is out to get me, how can I work under these circumstances?” and then goes to work and spills something and by that point, it’s just complete blind rage….and then the first phone call comes in.  I am not, nor have I ever been, depressed.  I am instead filled with rage.  I figured, rather than posting how much I hate everything and how much the universe is out to get me, maybe silence is golden.  I can just inflict my negative bitchy self on my coworkers and family members.  BUT GUESS WHAT, OMG!  I got my Zoloft back.  Stella got her groove back, I got my Zoloft back.  I’m a terrible person without it, which really makes me rethink my position in the world, but that can come later when I’m back to being Zen Darcy.

So keep it up, Ask the Darcy, check out the new Mystery Button, check out the new quotes I added, and go download THIS APP BECAUSE YOU WILL THANK ME FOR IT.