I do not even know what to say. I am in shock and for once in my life, I am (nearly) speechless. Big Koala has been cheating on me. And also, I seem to have a male alter ego who is more put together than I am but HE WROTE ABOUT A MASSAGE THE SAME DAY I DID. And he mentioned the nekkid aspect of the massage. And Big Koala is cheating on me with him. Here is Big Koala:
Here is the Man Who Stole Big Koala’s post about getting a massage. The way I wrote that looks like it is Big Koala’s post about getting a massage, but what I meant is, the man is now named the Man Who Stole Big Koala, and it is that man’s post.
The crazy part is, I have had Big Koala in my sights my entire life. He went to college with me, he has always lived on my bed except for now when he lives in the Family Room on the couch with all of my other friends that I rescued from the garage. So I do not understand how he has been cheating on me. Also, that man calls Big Koala a HER.
How did I find this out, you ask? I was searching to see if koalas could be kept as pets and rather than reading any of the words, I went immediately to Google images and started giggling maniacally at the pictures of koalas, and then I saw Big Koala and I went to the source and I FOUND OUT.
I read The Man Who Stole Big Koala’s other posts, and well, I kind of like him, he is really funny. So I don’t blame him. And I certainly cannot blame Big Koala. I will blame myself for not being the person Big Koala expected me to be. Or possibly Big Koala has a sister. OMG that is it. Koala (that’s the name of the Man Who Stole Big Koala’s koala) is a girl and she is Big Koala’s sister. They should have a reunion.
Now I do not know what to call the Man Who Stole Big Koala. I guess he is the Man Who Is Friends With Big Koala’s Sister, but wow, that is getting really long.
My friend Deanna is an awesome person and here is why. A rescue group posted a picture of a sweet little kitty and said she’s older and does not have long to live because of kidney disease, and could anyone give her a hospice home to make her happy in her last days. I got very upset thinking about this poor kitty and went on a mission to get her a home. Deanna responded almost instantly and said yes, and now Kit is happily at Deanna’s home getting a ton of love and squishes.
That got me into a Thought Loop about how I can not save All Of The Animals and how I really want to, and how there are animals out there who are sad and suffering and there are people who are mean to them. I just have to remind myself that I do as much as I can, and those around me do a lot, too, and little by little a difference can be made. But that does not stop me from getting sad about it. I have decided to make Cliff’s Kittens a thing. I am going to keep accepting (and demanding) donations even after Cliff’s kittens are taken care of, and I am going to hand pick people who need to get their pet spayed or neutered. Then I will see to it that they make an appointment, pay the vet directly, and follow up to make sure it happens. My next “target” is my friend Leslie. She has upwards of 20 cats, so you know, START DONATING! But Cliff’s kittens come first, so I have to meet that goal before I set others.
Do you have thoughts? Questions? Comments? Ask the Darcy!