I was looking through my “notes” on my phone and one was “Tuscany litter gelato” and I could not figure out what that meant. Who would eat Tuscany Litter Gelato? Tuscany Gelato, maybe. I don’t know what that would be, but at least it sounds like a real thing. But Litter Gelato, that’s just nasty.
My Mimi pants have shipped, so begin to prepare yourselves for the epic Out Tonight by a middle aged clumsy fat girl!**
I went out with my friend Mary last night and confirmed that I am, in fact, a pretty pretty princess.
I also confirmed that I am one of the morons that I have complained about for upwards of 10 years. I am THAT PERSON. At Half Price Books we would have sales, and there would be giant red signs and banners announcing the sale, but inevitably, someone would come up to the register and say “Oh, there’s a sale?”. I went to Starbucks last night and said “Do you have the pumpkin spice latte?” and the girl actually said to me “Yes, and you can tell because of the sign in the door and the sign right in front of you”.
Let me just make one thing clear – these were SMALL SIGNS. The one at the register was plain and not eye catching at all, and even when she pointed to it, it took me a minute to even see it. The one in the door – well, I saw nothing. The signs at Half Price Books were literally huge and red and in multiples hanging from the ceiling, covering the front door and the front windows. This was an 8×11 sign in the door, and an even smaller “note” attached to the register. So I am telling myself that I am not AS dumb and oblivious as the bookstore customers, but inside, I fear that maybe I am.
I would also like to point out that if I ever said what the Starbucks girl said to me to a customer, I would have been fired.
Oh, and because it’s Saturday, I have to share my weekly Mom insanity. As we all know from many, many posts – my mom always tells me to clean the bathrooms on Saturdays, and I rarely remember. Today, it is 11:45am and I have a friend coming over at 1pm. I am not showered and my car is messy (I will be driving us somewhere and need to, you know, remove the garbage). So I have 1 hour and 15 minutes to shower and clean my car. Knowing this, my mom says “So you’ll clean the bathrooms before you go?”. Well, no, I won’t. I will THIS WEEKEND, but not in 1 hour and 15 minutes when I have two other time consuming things to do anyway. And yes, I’m writing a blog instead of doing any of it. Sabrina The Human, you may have to ride in a messy car.
Oh and my parents started talking, so I must now relay the conversation:
Mom – everyone went to (name of “internet gambling” place) and won the jackpot.
Dad – Oh wow. And you thought the jackpot at (other “internet gambling” place) was going to go and it didn’t.
Mom – Right. Everyone won but me.
Dad – WELL AT LEAST YOU HAD FUN!
Mom – Shut up.
Dad – Remember that time you spent over $800? AT LEAST YOU HAD FUN!!!!!!!
Mom – Well I did! Bye.
A minute later….
Mom – (bang) OW!
Dad – Wow, this place is dangerous.
And that is all for today. Don’t forget to send me your dreams/nightmares at DarcyJ76@me.com, Save the Kitteh’s, and share my blog somewhere so I can become internet famous. That last time I posted your list of assignments only 2 people sent me dreams and no one reposted my blog (to my knowledge) and no one Saved the Kitteh’s. Please comply with my demands better this time 😉
**There may or may not be an actual video, I am committing to NOTHING.