My Cat Snores, Does Yours?

I can not sleep because I am thinking about pancakes and how I want to eat them and that is preventing me from sleeping.  I talk about pancakes a LOT, but the fact is, I eat pancakes maybe twice a year.  MAYBE.  I think most people eat pancakes more often than that.  I would like to be one of those people.

AJ’s cats like me.  It looks like Sophia is trying to get away, but she is not.  She was asleep like that and my left arm got very sore after awhile.

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My cat also likes me but you will never find her sitting on me, just near me.

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I have been having anxiety really really crazy bad lately and here are the reasons.  One is because I know there are unhappy animals and that upsets me a lot because I can not save them all.  Another reason is because there seems to be no government or something, and that is how about 50% of my YA Dystopian Future books start out, so we are THIS CLOSE to the Hunger Games or the Giver or Divergent.  But in all of those, first comes the government failure and then HORRIBLE TIMES OF FAMINE AND DESPAIR AND VIOLENCE.  It really makes me nervous.  I ask my former Manager Dave to explain these things to me in simple words and pictures that I will understand and he says no, it will take too much energy on his part.  So I tell him to explain it in a few sentences relating directly to me and my life and how it will affect ME because that is how I think.  Specifically I want to know if my food is being inspected.  He said it is.  For now.  Another reason I have anxiety is because people are bat shit crazy and unpredictable and that is just awful.

These are all reasons that we need Dartopia.  More Dartopia can be found here, here, and here.  Basically, you guys, I need to be the dictator, I really do not see what is so hard about that.  I would be doing a better job than anyone else is right now.  I mean, I would at least be doing a job.  You will get used to all the rules, do not worry.  Plus I will be drugging the water supply to get everyone to calm the hell down, so you will not feel those awful feelings of rebellion.   You will happily do as I say.  We will all be better off and I can stop panicking.  I will also have Rebellion Classes so that you can direct your rebellion towards the proper places, for instance, towards the island where the current temper tantrum throwing Congressmen will be living.  On their island, the rules change every few minutes and they never get updated on what the rules are, and if they don’t like it, the Rational People on the island will stop doing anything rather than discussing it with them.  Now you may ask, why would I put Rational People on an island filled with entitled old white men?  The Rational People will be put there are a reward, because they will get to do whatever they want to mess with the minds of the Temper Tantrum Throwers.  They can put things to a vote, and when the majority decides on something, they can just ignore it if they want!  Anything to drive the Temper Tantrum Throwers insane and to make the rest of their meaningless lives fairly miserable while still providing the basic necessities of life – a muddy river for water, a field of corn for food, and a few sticks and hay for shelter.  On this island, the Rational People will have whatever they want, so long as they do not share it with the Temper Tantrum Throwers.  And most important of all, the Temper Tantrum Throwers will have their vocal chords removed and they can only communicate by raising their hand to vote (and then their vote will be ignored).

I seriously do not know why there is not a movement to elect me dictator yet.  There is some slacking going on here, and I do not think it is me.

Don’t forget, make this picture go viral.  It is hilarious.  To recap, a friendly drive through zoo, Darcy (not me, my friend) says to Darlene, “smile for the camera” and an Elk promptly photobombs and nuzzles.  This is sincere terror, it is not staged.

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4 thoughts on “My Cat Snores, Does Yours?

  1. Ha ha ha! Thank you so much for cheering me up this morning! I too worry about things not working like a well oiled machine, it’s dissapointing people can’t just get themselves together and come to a compromise. The idea of the temper tantrum throwers on their own separate island is pretty enticing. Would the rational people be put into rotation? Obviously you don’t want to burden them with the task of dealing with the temper tantrums for too long! Also, if the teper tantrums are on their own separate island, then you may not need to put anything in the water supply? Problem solved! I would be worried if something was in the water supply the animals and food sources in the water might also become apathetic? Salmon might no longer care to swim upstream. A little bit of crazy is good,as long as its well intended…maybe?

    Ha ha ha! You are awesome!!! 🙂

    • Oh my gosh, I never even THOUGHT about the water supply for animals being drugged, too! You are officially appointed one of my advisors in Dartopia! I need people like you to point out the (VERY FEW) flaws in my system! So…the natural water supply will remained undrugged, and humans will drink out of a special water supply that WILL be drugged. And if humans try to sneak out to get undrugged water, the animals will be trained to attack. A little bit of crazy is definitely good – I’m going to have my water supply drug customized to let people be their crazy selves, but specifically target the ones who need to calm down. This is getting more complicated, I definitely need to start recruiting some scientists!!!

  2. I love pancakes. Like, i think i am addicted to pancakes. I go through withdrawal symptoms if i don’t eat pancakes. i used to eat pancakes every day, but now i have to wake up so early that i can’t eat pancakes except on the weekends. my life is ruined. 🙁

    Also, the government issues are scary, which is why i choose to be apathetic towards it because then I can’t worry about it. I have enough stress elsewhere in my life!!

    I’ve been saying that we need Prozac in the water supply for years though. I will vote for you 😉

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