Much like a raccoon, I like to collect and hoard shiny things or things that are all the same but slightly different, like marbles or mini candy bars or K-Cups. This happened, and it took this happening for me to do step one, admitting that I have a problem.
I have it in my head that just in case anyone ever comes over, I need to be able to offer them EVERY BEVERAGE that they could ever want. No one comes over, but if they do, I am prepared. If you are ever in need of a beverage, feel free to come by – I will have one for you.
I do this same thing with candy at work. I bought a basket that I try to keep filled with candy. I eat a surprisingly small amount of the candy, I just like to know that I have an entire basket filled with candy. One time Catharine and I bought a giant cauldron from a Halloween store and filled it with candy and I was so happy I thought I would die. It was huge.
I am not as freaked out about all the changes that are occurring in my life, but that ebbs and flows, so I might post a blog tomorrow saying the opposite. Mostly, AJ has finally realized that he can have a girlfriend and a friend all at the same time, and just because he has a girlfriend does not mean he has to be mean to me. So there is some hope on that front. He does not like me to write about him, but hey, it is my life being affected and I write about my life. AJ is not a bad person at all, for the record. We have a huge history that would take up several book volumes and no one would ever understand it. But if it affects my life significantly, I have to blog, it is my therapy. So unfortunately he is stuck getting mentioned sometimes.
In the Not Good News category, Sabrina Von Squishy had to go to the ER again because she kept violently trying to throw up, but nothing was coming out. We got there, and they did an x-ray and it turns out, completely unrelated to throwing up, she had fluid around her right lung. That had zero to do with her throwing up. The doctor thought maybe she was having tummy troubles because we overfed her treats in an effort to keep her eating. We have stopped doing that, and she has stopped trying to throw up. They sucked some liquid out from around her lung and they are going to see what it is. Then on Tuesday, she has her next chemo treatment and they will tell me about the lung liquid there. Today she is eating and drinking and litter boxing and being social and snuggly. She has a look on her face like she knows something is not right, but I do not think she feels sick at all.
For anyone concerned that I am pumping so many chemicals in to my kitty, I just want to say that the whole purpose is not to keep her going for my account, but for her not to feel like anything is wrong. Once she starts feeling like something is wrong, either because of her condition or because of the treatments, I will make the right decision. I would never let her suffer for my benefit, no matter how hard it will be to make that decision. But if I can keep her from knowing anything is wrong with her, I will do that.