An Anthropological Study Of A Formerly Unknown Species.

This is very scientific, so pay attention.

NASA has been interacting intergalactically without our knowledge.  Well, I know about it.  There was an experiment done in 1976, the effects of which are still being documented.  I shall now tell you all about it.

There is a species that exists outside of Earth on a planet that is pretty similar to Earth, but has some different qualities, like the way gravity works and scientific things like that.

The race of people who live on this planet are known as Dar Dars.  I know, you think that is my nickname.  A lot of people call me Dar Dar.  Only a select few know that I actually am A Dar Dar, not that my nickname is Dar Dar.

The Dar Dar race is very friendly and they never cause any harm to anyone.  They look very much like humans but have less expressive faces and they emit a slight glow.  Their personalities can be described as innocent, amiable, happy, joyful, simple, helpful, full of light, patient, excited, well meaning, generous, snuggly and squishy.

Dar Dars are inherently afraid of the dark, so their cities are set up so that at nighttime, there are pods of colored lights that automatically go on.  Most Dar Dars like nighttime best, as long as there is light, and so everything on the planet is always open.  No one gets paid to work because work ethic is very important to the Dar Dar race, and they just want to make sure everyone has everything they need, and that everyone is happy.  So they go to their jobs that they are good at and enjoy and they all cooperate and trade services.

They live in nests, and each Dar Dar has his or her own nest, though snuggling often happens if a Dar Dar feels the need.  Sometimes the nests are in trees, but many Dar Dars are afraid of falling out of trees, so sometimes they are on the ground.  There is no such thing as reproduction or the need for it because Dar Dars are specially crafted and hatched from eggs.  Each egg is set with elaborate timing so each Dar Dar is born at a specific time with specific traits.  Some are programmed to enjoy cleaning, some are programed to enjoy selling pet insurance, etc.

The Dar Dar diet consists of mostly candy, cake, cupcakes, pie, ice cream, peanut butter, cereal, milkshakes, and pasta with butter on it.  Because of the gravity on the planet, this diet helps sustain the Dar Dar species and also keeps them very thin and healthy.  Vegetables can be toxic to Dar Dars.

Some of the favorite things of every Dar Dar are:  soft things, nests, being pet, animals, helmets, weighted blankets, not having to talk, being excited about things, and things that are hoardable like marbles or K-Cups or candy bars.  Dar Dars can have extensive collections of soft things and marbles in their nests.

Routine and predictability are very important to the Dar Dar race.

Every Dar Dar has an animal companion, though animals are very prevalent on the planet and are friendly to all Dar Dars.  One Animal Companion is predestined for each Dar Dar, and is similar to what people on Earth would refer to as a soul.

Recently there was an agreement between the Dar Dar Elders and NASA.  NASA thought maybe if we could introduce some Dar Dars to Earth, the inherent goodness of the Dar Dar would help prevent the destruction of Earth by people who lie and cheat and do not care about things.  The Elders agreed to send a trial Dar Dar to earth to be adopted by Earth parents to see if she could have any influence on the world of Earth.  If this trial succeeded, more Dar Dars would be sent to infiltrate and save Earth.

An egg was programmed with a Dar Dar inside and sent to Earth.  The egg contained all the things a baby Dar Dar would need to survive, which included a Night Night and the egg of the baby Dar Dars future Animal Companion.  The Animal’s egg was set to hatch later in life for practical reasons.

One day the Dar Dar pecked her way out of her egg and NASA made sure she was intercepted and delivered to human parents, who were then injected with a false memory serum that made them believe the human female was pregnant for 9 months and gave birth to the Dar Dar.  From there, NASA did not interfere, the Dar Dar was raised with a human family and was observed to see what impact she would have on the world.

The things that have been discovered so far are that the diet of the Dar Dar does not work with Earth’s gravitational pull, and it has a very unfortunate effect on the physique of the Dar Dar.

It has also been observed that rather than having a positive influence on the humans around her, the Dar Dar is seen as strange and different.  Some people tried to change that, but because of the programming of the egg that was sent, there is no way to change the Earth Dar Dar.  While Earth Dar Dar has not changed, she has adapted to some Earth things, such as occasionally eating a vegetable without it being toxic (because of environmental factors).

Earth Dar Dar was put through a series of trials and tests to see if she could be changed.  It is important to know that if Dar Dars will be infiltrating Earth they will not pick up Earth habits, but rather, Earth will pick up their habits.  So Dar Dar was introduced to dating, and properly rejected it according to the ways of her people.  And in accordance with her people, Dar Dar made friends and was very loyal to them for as long as they existed or continue to exist in her life.  That test was successful.

Earth Dar Dar’s animal companion was introduced in 1999 when her egg hatched and she was a cat.  NASA made sure that Earth Dar Dar and Earth Animal Companion were united, and while neither of them knew exactly why, they knew that they were very special.  Animals are attracted to Earth Dar Dar very naturally because of the relationship on the home planet between animals and Dar Dars, but it was very clear that Earth Animal Companion and Earth Dar Dar were tied together.

Earth’s effect on Animal Companions is very different than the effect from the home planet, where Animal Companions live as long as the Dar Dar lives.  That was something NASA did not predict, and they are now faced with an Earth Dar Dar whose Animal Companion died, and things are going wrong with the experiment now.

Certain people on Earth can sense that Earth Dar Dar is different, and not just in a weird quirky way, but very different.  These people are very attuned to the needs of the Earth Dar Dar and help her and stay with her.  One of these Earth Companions discovered too much and was killed by the government, and her name was Catharine.  Since then, each Dar Dar Whisperer has been given an inoculation so that they do not discover TOO much, but they are still extra special in Earth Dar Dar’s life.  The Elders were not happy about the killing of Catharine because the whole point of the Earth Dar Dar was to make Earth better, and the government did something bad.

The other Dar Dar Whisperers are to remain nameless for their own safety – they are not even aware of their status.  One of them is specifically programmed to put Earth Dar Dar through every trial and tribulation possible, as a test of loyalty, strength, dedication and patience.  So far Earth Dar Dar has passed these tests.

The last test is to see how long a Dar Dar can survive on Earth, because if Earth Dar Dar lived the average life of her fellows on her home planet, she would be 300 and people might take notice.  It is hoped that the Earth atmosphere will shorten the life expectancy.  More tests will be done yearly to make sure Earth Dar Dar is retaining all of her people’s qualities without being corrupted.  In the 37th year of the Trial, all qualities have been retained.  Some of them are getting shaky, as the Dar Dar Whisperer assigned with providing tribulations has worn down the Earth Dar Dar bit by bit, and the loss of the Animal Companion has had a significant effect on Earth Dar Dar.  Results are inconclusive as of yet.

NASA anticipates a decision on whether or not to send more Dar Dar eggs to Earth in the coming years.

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8 thoughts on “An Anthropological Study Of A Formerly Unknown Species.

  1. Darcy, this was your best yet…wonderful piece! I for one am glad the Dar Dar’s sent you here and I am glad I was fortunate enough to know you.

    • Far Dars or Dar Dars because if there are Far Dars, I need to know more about them! And where are you? Where are they coming from? WAIT A MINUTE! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Missy and Merlin?

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