You Can Call Me Ingrid And I’ll Call You Al.

“Stop it, just…go away.  Both of you.  Take the cat and put him to bed, I can’t stand it anymore.  I can stand watching you rocking and I can’t stand the cat wanting to go to bed at 10pm.  Go away”.

Sabrina Von Squishy and Mr. Meow Meow both created, of their own accord and without consulting each other, a curfew of 10pm for me.  At 10pm, Sabrina would pace and meow and tap on things and drive my mom insane if I was not home yet.  I would get phone calls every night asking if I was coming home, where was I and would I be home soon.  Mr. Meow Meow does the same thing.  He wants me IN BED by 10pm.  If I am not, whether I am home or not, he jumps on my mom, sits on the table in front of her, meows at her – all trying to tell her that I should be in bed (so he can be in bed, too).  My mom now sits and reads in the kitchen at night, and I was rocking in the kitchen for no reason other than that is where I happened to be, and Mr. Meow Meow was flopping around on the floor meowing, trying to get me to go to bed.  That was what inspired her tirade.

“He runs around all day, something’s chasing him, he’s very busy.  All day.  Non stop.  He needs to go to bed at 10pm and you keep him up too late.  Take him to bed.  You have to go to bed by 10 now, your schedule needs to change”.

These are actual quotes from my mom who believes it is completely reasonable for me to be in bed by 10pm so my cat can go to sleep.  I guess it is not unreasonable.  He is my kitty and I will do what he wants, but really, I just cannot go to bed that early.  I will get bored and then never fall asleep because I have been lying there bored for too long.

I have changed my schedule so that if I am going to read at night, or watch Hulu or something, I do it on my iPad in my bed so he can go to sleep.  So that helps.  He is a funny kitty.  I am fairly certain Sabrina Von Squishy has taught him things from the beyond because there are just too many coincidences.

Someday I want to drive to Chicago, have dinner, and then drive home.  I think Chicago is about 6 hours away.  I just checked google maps and it is 5 hours and 31 minutes away.  Then there was a route I could click that took me through Lake Erie and Lake Michigan, but then I realized it was a route to fly, not to drive.  I guess I could fly to Chicago and have dinner and fly back.  That would cost about $400.

AJ is going to meet Mr. Meow Meow for the first time tomorrow.  When he first met Sabrina, he changed her name to Smurf, and it sort of stuck.  I tried not to, but I think I called her Smurf more often than I called her Squishy or Sabrina.  I mean, her name was never actually changed, it was just a nickname, but it really did stick.  So I have informed him that he is absolutely not to change Mr. Meow Meow’s name.  He may call him Meow Meow, Mr. Meow Meow, or Mr. Kitty.  I think those are enough options, we do not need to introduce more.  I am trying to think of what potential “threat” I can use, like, if he renames Mr. Meow Meow, I will start calling AJ by the name Ingrid or something.  But he would say that is fine, call him Ingrid.  He also knows I would almost instantly forget that I was supposed to call him Ingrid, and it would never stick.  I could say I am going to lick his food when he is not looking, and then he will never know which food has been licked and which has not, but he would not actually care about that either, because he knows I would never actually lick someone else’s food.  So basically, I have nothing.  Oh, and also, I used to have a bunny when I was in high school and he was named Harry and when I told AJ this, he said “Harry McHopALot?” and I said “No, just Harry” and from then on, my bunny who has been dead for 20 years has been referred to as Harry McHopALot.  He can change the names of the dead, that is how powerful his name changes are.

Tonight the sign at Panini’s said “Ladies Night – Cosmos – 3$” and so I ordered one.  I rarely drink, but I thought, three dollars, that is just a fantastic price.  Then I got the bill and my cosmo cost 7$.  My assumption was that I was not considered a lady and did not qualify for Ladies Night, but that was embarrassing, so I did not say that out loud.  Instead, I posted it more publicly in my blog, right here.  Anyway, AJ said he would tell the waitress, and I said no, because I did not want her to have to say “She is not a lady, she has to pay full price”.  But AJ said since that was the only reason I bought the cosmo, I should pay the special price.  That is true.  But I still begged him not to say anything because I have a thing about sending things back or correcting prices, it really gives me anxiety.  So I paid full price for a 3$ cosmo because I am not sure if I qualify as a lady or not.

I have five phone calls to make on my vacation day tomorrow.  I have to make a dentist appointment, a regular doctor appointment, an endocrinologist appointment, I have to call about CPAP supplies because I have been effectively suffocating in my sleep, and I have to call about my insulin pump that randomly died but I did not consider that an emergency because I am using my back up pump, but the back up pump only has 180 days of use programmed in to it, so if I do not call and get a replacement pump, I will just forget and after 180 days, this pump will die, too, and then I will be shit outta luck.  I have been putting these phone calls off for a long time.  The dentist appointment has only been put off for about a week, but I am going on two years with getting a new endocrinologist.  For those who do not know, that is the Diabetes Doctor.  I am going to a new one because the one I went to for nearly 20 years is over an hour away and it was getting annoying driving that far.  The pump has only been about a month, and the CPAP supplies have been about 6 months.  Never, ever depend on me to make phone calls for you, because I will not do it.  Ironic, considering I work in a call center.

This has been your late night non-sequitor thought blog, brought to you by Darcy and Mr. Meow Meow.  Thank you.

This is Logan from work, and he does not like to be pet, but he is SO FLUFFY it is really hard not to pet him.



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