Mr. Meow Meow was sitting on the porch and I told him that we should do something fun and this was his response.
I wanted to go rock hunting, so I posted on Facebook and said that I wanted to rock hunt and where should I go. Then my friend Sabrina the Human texted me and said she wanted to go, too. Then my friend Deanna posted on Facebook and said she lives near beaches and wanted to go, too.
I met Sabrina the Human at Starbucks in Solon and we drove together way out to The Middle of Nowhere and it took a really long time to drive there and Sabrina the Human talked on the phone for a really long time which I did not realize was possible because I hate talking on the phone and I do not have that much to say to anyone, ever.
We got to Deanna’s house in The Middle of Nowhere and we were greeted by Zeus the Great Dane.
Then we met Princess the Great Dane.
Here, Zeus demonstrates just how tall he really is.
There were baby foster kitties, too.
The orange baby kitty has a big head and it makes her feel bad sometimes and it is very sad, but Deanna is working very hard to fix her.
Then we went to a creek where there were two dogs walking in the water and there were teeny tiny fish in the water and there were also tadpoles, but all of the rocks looked exactly the same and were boring and there were no frogs.
After the Boring Rock Failure, we went out to eat at a place that had the most disgusting bathroom that I have ever seen, but it had this really neat sink.
And possibly the neatest thing I have ever seen was a train that went by and I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE. LIKE 15 FEET AWAY FROM IT. I have never done that. It was so neat I could not even stand it. I waved at the conductor and he waved to me.
In case you have never been that close to a train driving by, it is very loud, but it is a good kind of loud, not the kind that makes you cover your ears and rock.
We went to a beach and you can see a nuclear power plant.
People who live near there have pills they can take if anything ever blows up, and I guess it keeps them from growing a second head or something. I am not sure how you get the pill and if you have to get a new one each year or what. Maybe when you move in they automatically issue you one. That would make me not want to move there. If I have to have a pill to take in case of a nuclear explosion, that is not the neighborhood I will be choosing to live in.
I found some rocks that I thought were super neat, but when they got all dry and I looked at them, it turned out they were basically just a pile of regular rocks. Rock hunting hurts, too, because you have to stay bent over for a long time. Also sometimes you sink into the sand and that is unpleasant. I did the unthinkable and took my shoes off and that was worse. I also found a dead fish.
The sign said not to swim in Lake Erie because the levels of things were bad and if you went in your skin would rot off and your eyeballs would melt and you would die a slow and painful death. Maybe that is not what the sign said, I might have made that up. But it did say you could not swim. I would not choose to swim in Lake Erie under the best of circumstances, but while I was walking and looking for rocks my shoes got very wet so I am pretty sure I will be diagnosed with Trimethylaminuria or Tree Bark Skin Disorder.
We got ice cream and that is when Deanna and Sabrina the Human learned I was once shocked by an electric cow fence and lived. It is also where I met a fat Golden Retriever dog and pet him.
Overall, I spent more time in the Out of Doors than I normally do in a year and I inhaled entirely too much oxygen but I had fun and I liked it, but this is not to say I will do it again, unless the weather is 70 degrees or cooler.
And this is what happened when I told Sabrina the Human to take a video of me with the Great Danes so I can show how big they are, but I did not know she hit the record button. I am classy (turn your volume up).