I Am Drinking Butterbeer At Starbucks.

Seriously, have you ever had it?  It’s on the “secret menu”.  Sometimes it is so secret that you have to tell the barista how to make it, but it is so very delicious.  Two pumps caramel, two pumps toffee nut, and then you can get it as a latte or as one of those warm milk be beverages.

i went to my new therapist and I really like her.

She has a very soft orange blanket that I can pet and she promised to start bringing in her puppy.

I am still sad about AJ and I miss him which is stupid because he lied a lot and wasn’t very nice to me, but my Thundercat friend brought up a good point.  I said “why did he choose me when there were so many others”.  The answer is that I have something the others don’t.  I call him out on things, I force him to (eventually) tell the truth, I see through every lie and I hold him accountable.  It is very parental.  But I really don’t think he has anyone in his life who does that.  He has girlfriends who don’t know the true AJ but serve their needs, he has family who know the selective truth, and a therapist who knows the selective truth.  So I guess instead of feeling sad that I was picked, I should be proud.  My real ness and honesty was what made him stay with me as a friend for 8 years when no one else made that cut.  It hurt me a lot, but in some small ways, it bettered him.  A little.  In some ways.

My point is, there’s a bright side to everything and this bright side is that I was a strong, positive force in his life and even though I was used for him to learn every life lesson, I was the only one strong enough to do that.

It is very hard to do this on an iPad and I just made the keyboard part disappear.

I am going to drink my Butterbeer and read now.