Fun Home.

So much for writing blogs the day they happen….

After I left my hotel room, I Ubered to the Fun Home theater.  I had 30 minutes.  I am very diligent about getting to theaters the minute the house opens, I do not like to leave room for being late.  So I had a big decision – walk to the Starbucks for my third trip of the day, or not?  I walked.  Ahhh, Starbucks.

I was in the first row at Fun Home, which is in a round theater.  This means my feet were on the set (well, they COULD have been, but I am polite and did not do that).

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And guess what – remember Producer Guy from Disaster?  HE SAT NEXT TO ME AGAIN!  Him and his two lady friends.  We chatted (he ate peanuts) and I asked “So what are we seeing tomorrow?” which I thought was very funny of me.  They were very nice again, and we chatted and it was fun.

Fun Home was fantastic.  It was funny, emotional, and pretty.  The set was fantastic.  Entire rooms would drop into the floor, and other spots on the floor would open and up would come an entire new room.  I feel bad for “Middle Alison” who had to sing an entire song in tighty whitey 70’s ill fitting underwear.  THAT is what makes an actress good – if she has the guts to do that, she is good in my book.

It is very surreal seeing people you have seen on tv right in front of you.  The girl who played Little Alison was recently on a “Broadway at the White House” thing;  Big Alison (or is it Old Alison?  Or Adult Alison?  I don’t know) was on the Tony’s.  And, of course, Michael Cerveris, who I saw in Sweeney Todd a million years ago.  He wore a toupee in this show and it was weird.

Here are my stalking pictures.  Some highlights of my comments to the actors:

“You have silver in your hair and it is on purpose.  Mine is not on purpose.  Yours is cooler”

“You are SO TINY!  Do you even have any idea how TINY you are??  You are just SO CUTE!  AND SO LITTLE!”

“How old are you?” “12” “My niece is 12 and you look nothing like her”

“I saw you on the White House thing and now you are right here in person, that is just weird, isn’t it?” (to a freaking 12 year old child)

All three kids told me they thought my hair is really cool, and I said “Thank you, I like all of your hairs, too.  You guys are rocking the 70’s look.”

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Something Rotten.

Saturday was dogs and Fun Home and losing the Hamilton lottery.  Sunday was losing the Hamilton lottery and seeing Something Rotten.  I once again successfully convinced people in the TKTS line to see Disaster.  Since I am writing this all after the fact, I am losing some details – but here are the main points:

  1.  Dude who played Shakespeare was hot
  2. Brian D’arcy James was awesome
  3. While stage door stalking I ran into one of the girls from Producer Guy and Friends.

Not even kidding.  I looked at her, and she looked at me and I said “Seriously?” and she said “Yes.”  Her phone battery was dying, so I took pictures of her with some of the cast with my phone and texted them to her.  I only wanted a selfie with Brian D’arcy James because, you know, my name – but he did not come out.  So here are the pictures of my new friend Tamara with some of the cast.

She was super cool and said that we should go stalk Hamilton, but this was the night it was 5 degrees out and I wimped out and said no.  I regret this.  I am also including her stage door stalking Hamilton pictures in this post.

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Kinky Boots (And Steve).

Most theaters are dark on Monday, but some are not.  Steve came into the city on Monday to visit me and see a show that was not dark.

We went to an Irish place for lunch and talked and talked and talked and Steve drank beer.  He tried to check into his hotel but his room was not ready.  We went to the TKTS booth and got tickets to see Kinky Boots and I ran into a woman I had been in line with before.  For such a large city, I really kept seeing the same people, it was neat.  After Steve checked into his hotel we went to dinner and Steve drank more beer.

We saw Kinky Boots and it was, of course, awesome.  Wayne Brady was fantastic.  That man can do anything.  Steve was a trooper and stage door stalked with me even though it was raining, and then we went to Junior’s and ate large amounts of cake and ice cream.

The best thing about Wayne Brady was that he came out and met every single person who was waiting for him, even in the rain.  Unlike, you know, BERTRAM, who would not even say hello to anyone.

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Bertram Is An Ass.

I did not post a blog last night, so this is the “Last night plus today up until right now” blog.

I arrived in NYC around 5pm, and had a ticket to see Disaster! The Musical at 7pm.  It is still in previews, it literally just started this week.  Adam Pascal is in it, that was all I needed to know.  And it is at the Nederlander, home of RENT, and full circle, blah blah blah.  I love Adam.

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Omg.  So hot.  And his voice.  Me and all five of my chins love Adam.

The show was HILARIOUS.  It is set in 1979 on a gambling boat in which the owner, Roger Bart (who I did not even recognize at first, all because of a fake mustache) skimped everywhere possible in terms of safety, and it is a parody of every 70’s disaster movie, and it was nonstop funny.  I do not appreciate 70’s music (it uses pop music from the 70’s), but with Adam singing it, I was ok.  You know who else was in it?  Bertram from Jessie.  BERTRAM.  The ONLY character on that show that I do not despise.  My nieces, however, love that show and the bratty kids in it.

Every single actor came out after the show into the freezing cold and thanked people for being there. Adam said “Thank you so much for staying out here in the cold” and I said “Thank you for joining us in the cold” and he said “It was the least I could do, I appreciate this so much.”  Now THAT, my friends, is grace.  And beauty.  And god-like talent.  Every actor came out.  Except….Bertram.  He walked by and I said “OH, would you…just for a minute…my nieces….” and he said….this man legit straight up looked into my face and said this to me “Are you kidding?  It’s too cold” and turned around and kept walking away.

There were two theater fan girls who were there with me (not WITH me, we happened to be standing there and we talked a little) who were like “Man.  Bertram.  What the hell??”

My ticket was in the front row.  I could have licked Adam several times if I wanted to.  The guy next to me was chatty, and it turns out he is one of the producers.  He used to weigh 350 pounds and he is a completely normal size now.  He did eat a thing of Milk Duds and a thing of Swedish Fish, though.

One of the characters in the show is a nun who is addicted to gambling and I told Producer Man that she reminds me of my mom.  I told her that, too, after the show.  She laughed.  She also said, when I went to take our picture, “Oh honey, always hold your arm UP, it makes us look ten years younger”.

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I Ubered back to my hotel, or possibly I took a cab, I do not even remember at this point.  All I know is he could not find the hotel, so I had him drop me at the CVS across the street. I took that opportunity to purchase cereal, Oreos and milk.  Oh, and plastic spoons and bowls.  And yogurt.

Back to the hotel, and my room is 90 degrees below zero.  They had a guy come up and use tape – like, not Scotch tape, but the clear kind you use to mail things – to tape up the window that was leaking air, and he also turned up the steam heater thing that makes a lot of noise and I am scared is going to explode.

This morning when I left, I was nervous about Night Night and Expensive Scarf, I usually hide them but I forgot to. I spent most of the day concerned about them, and missing my cat.  I alternated my worrying.  The lovely people of Hotel Belleclaire did this:

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They win.  Do I tip the cleaning people daily, or at the end of the week?  Please advise.

Oh, and last night I gave $40 to a homeless guy with a dog.  I have mentioned before, I bring as much as I can to hand out $10 bills to homeless people, but if they have a pet, there is no cap to my generosity.  Ok, there is a cap, but you know what I mean.  He had his dog wrapped up in coats and a sleeping bag and the dog looked very well taken care of.  I asked if he had dog food and he showed me that he did.  He also said he has another sleeping bag for the dog.

I have a ticket for tonight to Fun Home, and I am going to start writing that blog right now so I do not forget the insanity that went into getting that ticket.  I mean, it was not difficult to get, but you know, I have to make everything an adventure.  Also, I thought the ticket said “No lactating” instead of “No Late Seating”.

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I did say that this blog would be from last night up until right now, but I have realized how long it is already, so today will be a different blog.  Thank you for your patience. This is what I look like right now, which is somewhat maniacal, I think:

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This Post Is About A Lot Of Things.

There are Amish men building a new roof next door and it is extremely loud, but because I have superior sleeping powers, I slept through most of it.  Now that I am trying to watch tv, though, it is much more annoying.  Because I cannot hear the tv, you see.  So this tells me, Darcy, you should not watch tv, it is a lovely day and you should go for a walk.  So obviously, I am writing a blog post.

I am mostly over my Sociopath Series.  Mostly I just miss AJ’s cats a lot.  I do not have confidence that they are being given proper attention.  I know that he would never hurt them, but I do know that he would willingly leave them alone for most of the time to pursue a female person, and I do know that he never, ever stops pursuing female people.  So I fear they are sad and alone and I have no way of knowing if they are happy.  This next part is really, really weird, even for me – but also, AJ was the voice of Sabrina.  You know how you make your pets talk?  Well AJ was Sabrina’s voice.  He wasn’t always, before I knew him, but when he gained control of that aspect of my life and renamed her Smurf, he also became her voice.  But it was funny and cute, so it was ok.  After Sabrina died (this is the part that is weird even for me) it was a great comfort to me to make AJ talk in her voice, and to have “Sabrina” tell me she loves me and is ok.  I took it very seriously.  Knowing I will never hear Sabrina’s voice again has been causing me grief.  And then I realized that Sabrina’s Facebook page “liked” AJ’s actor page.  I felt like my own cat was betraying me from beyond the grave, and I could not remember her log in information.  AJ also posted as her, even though I set up the account.  He posted funny things and it would make me tremendously happy when I would be at my house, and he would be at his, and all of a sudden my cat would post something on my FB page (this was when she was alive).  I did not want Sabrina to “like” AJ’s actor page after the things he put me through, so of course, I panicked and completely freaked out.  Then a very lovely and kind young man who knows a lot about computers (and makes me realize how much I do NOT know) told me how to get back into Sabrina’s page and all is right with the world.  I do wish I could hear Sabrina’s voice again, though.

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In other news, it turns out that even though I am riddled with anxiety about every single thing in the world, and I spend 99% of my time thinking about animals who are suffering, biological warfare, terrorists, fire, etc, etc, I am actually one of the most calm people you could ever meet.  I found this out at work.  I have suspected it for some time, but my suspicions were confirmed when I was in a conference room with my supervisor and our reactions to the exact same thing were him jumping  up and down and saying “balls” and my reaction was “Ok, that’s fine”.  He was not freaking out, he was being super funny, but the core of our reactions was there – I was totally fine with anything thrown at me and it did not phase me in the least, and he….was phased (though completely able to take care of and fix anything that comes along).   I have a feeling people think I actually do not care because I do not get stressed out at work.  I DO care, I am just realistic.  We have 300 things to do and only 3 people available to do it?  Ok, we will all just work our asses off, do what we can, and that is the best that can happen.  It is something I can attempt to fix, but not control.  Now if the situation were that one person (or everyone) was completely slacking and not doing their job, I WOULD be stressed and I would take action to fix it, but there is no one like that where I work.  I know that people are doing everything they can, so I figure, why stress out about that when there is nothing I can do about it when I can be spending my time having anxiety attacks at the thought that I might someday have to fly in an airplane in the winter, or that there are animals without homes, or that I might get Ebola, or that those Isis people are bat shit crazy and want to behead us all, or that I might have to go to the grocery store and I HATE the grocery store, or that I might get kidnapped?  THOSE are worthy of my fear and anxiety!  I am…help me out with the word.  An oxymoron?  An anomaly?  A living breathing contradiction?  I am not sure, but all I know is that work does not stress me out in the least and I love it there.  I mean, really…Henry sticks his tongue out at stress.

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I am going to NYC and seeing Alan Cumming in Cabaret from amazingly awesome seats, and I will also be seeing the Goddess Idina Menzel and the adorable Anthony Rapp in If/Then and I WAS going to see The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime BUT I read that the point of the play is to have the audience experience Christopher’s sensory overload issues and thankyouverymuch I experience that quite enough on my own and do not need to be trapped in a theater having it forced upon me.  I am also going to have coffee with several people.  I have had my first Coffee Date, but I cannot decide if I want to make a physical scrapbook of my Coffee Dates, or if I want to make a section on my website for it.  So more to come on that, try to contain your excitement until I figure it out.

Oh and also in NYC, I will absolutely be stage door stalking the following people, whether or not I see the production they are in:  Alan Cumming, Idina Menzel, Anthony Rapp, Rupert Grint.  If I get a picture with Ron Weasley, I could probably die and be happy that I have accomplished everything I could have hoped for in my life.  If it is anything like the stage door when I saw Daniel Radcliffe in How to Succeed in Business, though, I may have to continue throughout life without that picture.

I am listening to a podcast by Librivox of Anne of Green Gables and it is very well read and all the voices are great except….Anne’s friend Diana Berry is read by like, an 82 year old woman.  It is the most off-putting thing ever.  I am not saying she is read by an adult trying to sound like a kid, I am saying that it is read by an elderly adult making no attempt to sound like a kid.  When Anne is talking to her about school and boys, and an 82 year old woman answers, it is just…really unsettling.

Meow Meow is sitting in the bay window watching leaves come down and it is super cute.  His little head follows them on their journey down to the ground.  Oh and also I got a squirrel to eat a peanut out of my hand and I pet him.  Here is Meow Meow watching a leaf:

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I left that one big because I like the colors in it.

I COOKED SOMETHING.  I made chicken in the crock pot and Jocelyn told me how to make it and I will now tell you, dear readers, how to make it and it is delicious.   You take the chicken, all raw and nasty and gross – oh but it should be boneless skinless chicken breasts, not like, actual nasty gross parts.  I did six of them.  So you put them in the crock pot and then dump Hidden Valley Ranch powder on them, and also you dump McCormick’s Chicken Gravy Powder on top of it and then you put a stick of butter on top of it and then I put it on low for 6 hours and it was the most tremendously amazing chicken I have ever consumed in my life.  Ever.  It does not actually make gravy which is good because I do not eat gravy, it just makes it have flavor.  Normally I am opposed to flavor of any kind, but in this case, it was very good.

The fish at work are bigger and they had babies again (they ate the first babies) and hopefully these babies will stick around.  I get to give them fish treats twice a week and basically it is a cube of frozen Sea Monkeys and I pour hot water on them to melt them (they do not come alive, they are still dead), and then I pour cold water in so I am not dumping hot water into the fish tank, and then I dump it in and the fish go crazy.  They also get brighter, which is very neat to see.  I do not have a picture of the fish to post.

Do you live in New York or Pennsylvania?  My NYC trip is November 7th – whenever I decide to come back (5-6 days), so I can galavant around that whole area and have coffee with you if you live in those states.