There is this place called Menorah Park, and it is a home for old Jewish people. I plan on putting my dad there in 20 years when it is time for The Home. My mom would hate to be stuck in an old people home, so I will probably just set her adrift on an iceberg. As long as she can play Scrabble on her (my) iPad, she’ll be fine. Oh, and I will have to make sure her iceberg washes up near a casino every week or so.
Anyway, right next to Menorah Park is a water rehab facility. I read about it online and they diagnose your issues and come up with a very thorough plan for fixing you. I want that to happen for my back. I already know what is wrong with my wrists, and therapy of any kind will not help them, but maybe it will help my back. I have never had a real diagnosis of why I am in constant pain. Sometimes I cannot stand up for more than a few minutes at a time, and that is really embarrassing because most things in life require standing for more than a few minutes. Also, when I walk, the pain gets so intense that sometimes I have to bend over to make it feel better, and then I get stuck like that. It happened in NYC. So I thought, maybe I can fix this.
My assumption has always been that this pain came from when I lift a box very incorrectly at Half Price Books – that is when it started for sure. It has only become worse, which I assumed is because I am fat. Because I assume fat people are supposed to be in pain as punishment, I have never tried to do anything about it until now.
BUT – again, Menorah Park is an old person place, so I did not know if I could just call and be like “I am less than 90 years of age, will you still take me?” So instead I e-mailed and asked that. What I actually said was “I am not sure if I am allowed to come there because I am 39, but I have the back pain of a 90 year old, if that helps.” They said I can be any age and that is fine and that I should make an appointment.
It is four days a week (consecutive days), for four weeks in a row. That is more of a commitment than I am comfortable making because I like to be able to back out of things. I am going to do it, though. I accidentally bought a time share in DisneyWorld, and I need to be able to walk around without pain.
Oh yeah – that timeshare in DisneyWorld. I guess that is another blog, eh? Stay tuned.