Who Wouldn’t Want To Honeymoon At My House???

A lovely and awesome user submitted the following via the Ask the Darcy link:

OK my computer at work won’t let me comment on your posts so I’m commenting here. Trying to pick a place for my honeymoon and am thinking of coming to your house. I would bring my cat, Freedom, who Jayme (this is Leah) has renamed “Mrs. Pickles.” Sabrina would squish her because Mrs. P. is 5 pounds but she would do good in the choir. She prefers Lady Gaga, sung in the key of, “Meow.” I’d like to smoke but it stinks and I don’t want to die but maybe for my honeymoon Jayme will let me smoke with your mom and he can sit with your dad in his big chair. Also, I love your posts, they are awesome…

YOU, Leah, are awesome!  But you won’t believe this because AJ renamed MY cat.  I am curious to know the circumstances in which your cat was renamed.  Here’s mine.  In the early days of me dating AJ I was convinced he was going to kidnap my cat, because she liked him better and he had never had a pet, and he decided he wasn’t scared of her after all, and he loved her.  So I kept accusing him of trying to cat nap her.  One day he said to Sabrina “That’s it, I’m catnapping you.  Your new name is Smurf” and that was that.  He has called her nothing but Smurf since then.  I even slip and say it pretty often.  Her name is still Sabrina Von Squishy, but somehow, Smurf works, too.  We need to take a stand against men renaming our cats.  There must be a society around here for that.  I’ll look into it.

You should totally come here for your honeymoon, it would be awesome.  You and Jayme can both sleep on the couch in the family room and Sabrina will probably sit on you.  Then at 5:55am she will slap you until you get up and feed her.  Then, since it’s your honeymoon, I’ll let you sit on the freezing cold porch with the smoke and watch tv.  AND – Jayme can totally sit on my dad’s chair with him.  He’d probably have to sit on my dad’s lap, but my dad might not notice, depending on what’s on tv.  I hope Jayme is a fan of Judge Judy and cowboy movies.

The best part will be when I get home from work and we have Kitty Choir Practice, because that would be super crazy cute.  There is a very good chance Sabrina will not cooperate, because she does not like her own species.  I showed her a tiny week old baby kitten once, thinking it might ignite some maternal instincts, and Sabrina reacted as if she were just shown an evil bad guy.  She hissed, and turned her back on the baby kitty and would not look at it, and she just kept hissing while facing away from the kitty.

I can’t fathom a cat that is 5 pounds.  I’m so used to Squishy, that just seems like crazy talk.  I want Squishy to have a friend, so maybe Mrs. Freedom Pickles will be Sabrina’s first friend.

Oh and I make pancakes!  It takes a really long time, and if I make anything else with them, nothing gets done at the same time, so you have to eat in shifts, but I could make that for you for your honeymoon breakfast.  And I have a Keurig, so you could totally have coffee any time you want!

I’m very excited about this.  OH and even better, you guys could come to work with me one day and meet all the dogs and Ken the Hamster!  We could recreate your wedding and Ken could preside over it and give you his blessing!

This is very exciting.

Oh, and the comments are all weird – sometimes they post on Facebook instead of here, sometimes they post here and Facebook, and sometimes I think they don’t even post at all.  I’ll get my tech crew on that (AJ).