Psychics And Stuff.

We had a psychic lady come to work and we each got to do a 10 minute tarot card reading.  Here is the thing about psychics.  I do not believe they know anything, but I desperately WANT to believe they know things, so I have spent money to see them on occasion.  Sometimes it is pretty impressive, for instance, I saw a psychic guy when I was between jobs, and I had JUST been hired at one job that I did not particularly want, but I needed health insurance.  He said “a new opportunity is going to come up and you need to embrace it”, and a few days later, Embrace called and offered me a job.  Now come on.  Who uses the word “embrace” that frequently?

Then I saw him again and everything he said was generic and not impressive.

But the thing about psychics is that they really, really want me to believe my dead maternal grandmother is hanging around me.  They desperately want this.  Every single one has said “You have a dead person who hangs around you, it’s a grandmother, on your mom’s side”.  That could be one of two people.  My mom’s actual mom, who deserted her kids when my mom was 3 and I never even met;  or the person who raised my mom whose parting words to my mom before she died were “I’m going to hell for the way I treated you, aren’t I?”  The only encounter I ever had with her was at someone’s funeral when she told my mom she had some ailment (I thought it was a gall bladder issue, but I don’t know for sure) and my mom said “Oh, I had that, it’s awful, I’m sorry” and then “grandma” grabbed me by the arm when my mom walked away and hissed something at me about my mom being self absorbed or selfish or something.  I was maybe 10 at the time, so at this point, the details are very vague.  All I know is:  a) arm grab was scary and b) hissing something about my mom was rude.  That was my encounter.  Now to some of my cousins, she is legit “grandma” – two of the siblings were treated very nicely, and two were not.  My mom and my Uncle Mike were on the “not” list.  No judgement, but what I am saying is that there is no way in hell either one of those women is hanging around me “keeping an eye on me and helping me in life”.

I desperately want my dead person to be Catharine, of course.  All I want is for a psychic to say to me “There’s a dead girl hanging around you” and then describe Catharine.  It has been 12 years since Catharine died and I am not exaggerating when I say I think about her every single day.  And not fleeting thoughts, either.  You might say I have not “moved on”, even a little bit.

So this last psychic that came to work.  She told me about a dead person hanging around me and guess what – it was grandma.  I said “Are you sure she’s hanging around me and not like, throwing things at me or something?” and she laughed and said “It’s not a perfect thing, let me try again” and she stared at me and she closed her eyes and up to this point, I had said nothing to her.  She laid out tarot cards, I think I picked a card or shuffled or something, but all she knew was my name….which she forgot by the end of the ten minutes anyway.  So she’s staring at me conjuring my dead people and I have lost all hope and she said there was a young lady hanging around, and that she can’t tell exactly what the relationship was but it was very close, and this wasn’t the first lifetime we had been close.  She said this young lady died unexpectedly and did not realize she was dead at first, it was that sudden.  She said that this person is intricately connected to me and remains a part of me, and that she thinks she’s in her 20’s.

Catharine and I always said we were soul mates, and that we had clearly been together in various forms throughout past lives.  That we had “one brain, one heart, three kidneys (four if you include her original dead one that was still shriveled up floating somewhere in her body), and one pancreas”.  Our friendship was instant and as natural as if we had grown up together.  I have never had the sense of knowing someone without ever asking like I did with Catharine.  She died when she was 27, and I would say it is accurate that she is and was intricately connected to me.

Prior to me going to my ten minute session with this lady, people came out of the room crying, talking about dead relatives and stuff.  I am not an emotional person and I do not cry.  I did not cry at this description of what was clearly Catharine hanging around me, but my eyes got watery and I said “REALLY??”  The psychic lady said that this person thinks it’s pretty funny when random things happen to me and that she has a hand in that – whether it is something as simple as misplacing keys and finding them in my hand, or something like me randomly walking in to Joshua Bell’s rehearsal and no one stopping me (she did not reference that incident specifically, she just said “bigger things that might not happen on a regular basis”).

She also said that my recent past shows a lot of deceit and deception (hello, AJ) and that is over and will not come back.  I am not sure if that means it is safe to stop circling the parking lot at the grocery store before I go in, to make sure AJ is not there, or if it just means I should still circle, but I will not run into him?  Anyway, she said I am going to meet someone who is the opposite of that and who values honesty and “quite frankly, unfiltered truth” as much as I do.  I like to think of myself as straight forward, but “unfiltered truth” also works.  But, I said, I do not date.  She said this does not have to be a romantic person, just a person.  I said ok.

That was the end of my ten minute psychic session.

Back when Catharine died, I went to see an “Indian spirit guide” who also told me that Catharine did not realize she was dead when she died.  I do not know if this is a common thing to say when young people die, or what, but I thought that was interesting.

Here is one of my favorite pictures of me and Catharine:

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Here is a picture of me and Mr. Meow Meow:

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And here are pictures of me and Embrace’s foster kitty, Eve.  Her brother is Adam.

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Darcy J, Catnapper Extraordinaire.

Have you ever looked a word for a really long time and just thought, that is not really a word?  You KNOW it is a word, but the more you stare at it, or say it, the less you believe it is a real word.  I just did that with the word bank.

So anyway, a few nights ago I heard a cat meowing in a backyard a few houses away from mine.  It wasn’t just like “meow”, it was a howl meow like Mr. Meow Meow makes when it is the middle of the night and he wants me to play.  He yowls, and then he brings his toy up to my room and puts it on me.  I wake up to a toy on me every day.  I love my cat.

But this other cat, I opened the porch window and I said “Kitty!” and the meow got closer.  I kept saying “Kitty” and I saw a shadow (it was dark out) on the other side of the fence in my neighbor’s yard.  Then the shadow/kitty came to the fence door (it’s not called a door, what is it? I mean, it’s a door, and it’s a fence, but I swear there’s another word for it), and he climbed the fence and came right up to the porch window.  The wall part of the porch comes up to my waist, and then from there it is screen windows with a glass part that slides open.  So I slid open the screen, bent over the wall part, and picked up the kitty and brought him in the porch.  He was perfectly happy to come in, and he was very cute.

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My neighborhood has a Facebook group, so I posted his picture, and soon enough his owners were found, but it was 1am and they were not answering their phone.  I couldn’t keep the kitty (his name is Frosty) on my porch because he did not care for my cat (who was not on the porch, but was visible through the sliding porch door).  I asked if anyone could take Frosty until his owners could get him, and a lovely fellow night owl down the street said she could. Her name is Bobbi.  That is important for later. Frosty’s owners got him in the morning and all is well.

Then last night I was driving home around midnight and saw a tiny kitty.  I stopped and the kitty came right up to me and got in my car, so I drove her home with me and walked out to say hi to my mom on the porch and said “I found another cat”.  This kitty REALLY did not like Mr. Meow Meow, so we had to make all kinds of barricades so that we could go in and out of the porch without them sneaking.  I posted this kitty in my neighborhood group, too, and at 6am someone said “That’s my kitty” and texted me.  I was not awake at 6am but the text woke me up and he asked where I live so he can come get her.  I told him, and I told my dad “Dude is coming for kitty” and then I went back to sleep.  My dad said the guy was very nice, and said the kitty does not go outside, she stays inside, but sometimes he takes her for walks and she follows right along with him.  So the guy took the kitty and walked her home and my dad watched them the whole way down the street, and the kitty followed right at his feet.  It turns out this kitty that looks like a baby is 14 years old.

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While I was posting about that kitty, someone else posted a picture of a kitty and said “Hey, this guy has been hanging around our house, anyone know him?” and, full circle, Bobbi, the fellow night owl who took Frosty for the night, said “That is my cat!  He ran away in March!”.  The people whose house Kismet is hanging out at (that’s his name, Kismet) said they have a dog who will eat Kismet, and can’t hang on to him.  I said if they can catch him, I will house him until Bobbi gets back from vacation on Friday.  Our first attempt to catch him failed, but now Kismet House People are prepared with cat nip, wet cat food and a carrier, so they are going to keep trying.  My method of “scruff him and put him in a box” did not succeed.

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They finally caught Kismet, and I brought him to work and everyone LOVED him.  He loved everyone.  He loved Hoenir, the dog.

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Kismet had a happy reunion with his family, and his very own dog, Jack.

There you go.  My cat adventures.  It makes me nervous and causes me stress, but I am glad that so far each kitty has been returned home.  It also makes Mr. Meow Meow nervous and causes him stress.

See?

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Ham Hams And Foster Kitties.

My niece is getting a hamster for her birthday.  Hamsters shall forthwith be called Ham Hams or Hammies.  Anyway, I called dibs on buying the cage for the Ham Ham.  So I bought this double level cage with tubes and then a smaller cage and the Hammie can have a living area and a nest area and an eating area and all kinds of areas.

I would like a Hammie of my own but have been forbidden by my parents because I am 38 and an adult and that makes sense.  I am living vicariously through my niece.

What I really want is a work Hammie, but a lot of people work there now, and I would want it to be MY Ham Ham.  I do not share well.  You may recall Ken the Vicious Bite Hamster, he was my former work Hammie.  Also we now have foster cats at work and I think they would enjoy watching a Ham Ham (through a secure window).

I take the foster kitties on field trips to visit our fish tank.  Of the three kitties we’ve had, two have enjoyed that and one was horrified by that.  One kitty was adopted and now we have two together and they are friends and will be adopted together.

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You want the kitties.  Adopt the kitties.  Do it now.  The top one is Emmie and the bottom one is Teegan but he is a boy even though he has a girl’s name, and his head tilts and it is super cute.

I have started listening to the podcast Welcome to Night Vale and I really like it and it is really funny.  If you do not listen to it, you should start.  Then you can report back to me about how much you love it.

If you would like to adopt Teegan and Emmie for real, contact the Berea Animal Rescue Fund