If A Tree Falls In Darcy’s Backyard, How Long Till She Stops Flapping?

I woke up this morning to this….

There are just a few things about this that concerned me.  One is that I had just watched the President on Jay Leno talk about terrorists and since I was Advil PM’ed, all I heard was “The terrorists are coming for you and you will die”.  You may remember me discussing this just last night.   So waking up to the sound of a chainsaw is a little alarming when you go to bed convinced you are going to die in a terrorist attack.

I was not forewarned of this.  I was not included in the discussion of “Let’s have men come into our backyard with chainsaws”.  I was not consulted.  I was not even around when a hint was dropped about chainsaws.  You might say that no one bothered to Ask the Darcy.  So I did what any rational and brave person would do, and I froze in my bed and waited for it to stop.  Guess what?  It did stop.  And then the tree fell down.  I can tell you that if a tree falls and there is no one there to hear it, IT STILL MAKES A REALLY LOUD DAMN SOUND.  I mean, sure, I was there to hear it as it was right outside my bedroom window….but there is no way that sound would not be heard.

I do not do well with unexpected noises or changes and suddenly my backyard was being noisily changed.  What if there were squirrels or birds living in that tree?  Did anyone check?  Were they relocated?  What if that tree liked being right there where it was?  I doubt anyone asked the tree how it felt.  They said it was a dead tree, but maybe it was not yet all the way dead, did they ever think of that?

After informing my parents that they are jerks for not warning me about this (and watching them laugh their asses off at me), I went out to the front yard and found more unexpected things.  I honestly have no idea what I thought, but I did not think there would be anything different about the front yard.  Where were they taking the giant pieces of tree, some people might think to themselves.  They must have trucks and equipment to deal with such a large tree, others might assume.  Surely since I saw the tree fall and saw parts of the tree being cut off and moved elsewhere it might be that they are putting tree parts in the front yard, a rational person might conclude.  Not me.

Here is a game.  Identify the 5 things I am afraid of in the picture below.  I will give you a hint because unless you have been to my house you will not get #1.  The first one is not what is there, but what is not there that scared me and also, we are a three car family with a two car garage.  Send me an e-mail with your guesses for each item and whoever gets the most right will win a real actual prize.  E-mail your answers to:  DarcyJ76@me.com and may the best Darcy Whisperer win.

Scary Things Scary Things Game