We had a psychic lady come to work and we each got to do a 10 minute tarot card reading. Here is the thing about psychics. I do not believe they know anything, but I desperately WANT to believe they know things, so I have spent money to see them on occasion. Sometimes it is pretty impressive, for instance, I saw a psychic guy when I was between jobs, and I had JUST been hired at one job that I did not particularly want, but I needed health insurance. He said “a new opportunity is going to come up and you need to embrace it”, and a few days later, Embrace called and offered me a job. Now come on. Who uses the word “embrace” that frequently?
Then I saw him again and everything he said was generic and not impressive.
But the thing about psychics is that they really, really want me to believe my dead maternal grandmother is hanging around me. They desperately want this. Every single one has said “You have a dead person who hangs around you, it’s a grandmother, on your mom’s side”. That could be one of two people. My mom’s actual mom, who deserted her kids when my mom was 3 and I never even met; or the person who raised my mom whose parting words to my mom before she died were “I’m going to hell for the way I treated you, aren’t I?” The only encounter I ever had with her was at someone’s funeral when she told my mom she had some ailment (I thought it was a gall bladder issue, but I don’t know for sure) and my mom said “Oh, I had that, it’s awful, I’m sorry” and then “grandma” grabbed me by the arm when my mom walked away and hissed something at me about my mom being self absorbed or selfish or something. I was maybe 10 at the time, so at this point, the details are very vague. All I know is: a) arm grab was scary and b) hissing something about my mom was rude. That was my encounter. Now to some of my cousins, she is legit “grandma” – two of the siblings were treated very nicely, and two were not. My mom and my Uncle Mike were on the “not” list. No judgement, but what I am saying is that there is no way in hell either one of those women is hanging around me “keeping an eye on me and helping me in life”.
I desperately want my dead person to be Catharine, of course. All I want is for a psychic to say to me “There’s a dead girl hanging around you” and then describe Catharine. It has been 12 years since Catharine died and I am not exaggerating when I say I think about her every single day. And not fleeting thoughts, either. You might say I have not “moved on”, even a little bit.
So this last psychic that came to work. She told me about a dead person hanging around me and guess what – it was grandma. I said “Are you sure she’s hanging around me and not like, throwing things at me or something?” and she laughed and said “It’s not a perfect thing, let me try again” and she stared at me and she closed her eyes and up to this point, I had said nothing to her. She laid out tarot cards, I think I picked a card or shuffled or something, but all she knew was my name….which she forgot by the end of the ten minutes anyway. So she’s staring at me conjuring my dead people and I have lost all hope and she said there was a young lady hanging around, and that she can’t tell exactly what the relationship was but it was very close, and this wasn’t the first lifetime we had been close. She said this young lady died unexpectedly and did not realize she was dead at first, it was that sudden. She said that this person is intricately connected to me and remains a part of me, and that she thinks she’s in her 20’s.
Catharine and I always said we were soul mates, and that we had clearly been together in various forms throughout past lives. That we had “one brain, one heart, three kidneys (four if you include her original dead one that was still shriveled up floating somewhere in her body), and one pancreas”. Our friendship was instant and as natural as if we had grown up together. I have never had the sense of knowing someone without ever asking like I did with Catharine. She died when she was 27, and I would say it is accurate that she is and was intricately connected to me.
Prior to me going to my ten minute session with this lady, people came out of the room crying, talking about dead relatives and stuff. I am not an emotional person and I do not cry. I did not cry at this description of what was clearly Catharine hanging around me, but my eyes got watery and I said “REALLY??” The psychic lady said that this person thinks it’s pretty funny when random things happen to me and that she has a hand in that – whether it is something as simple as misplacing keys and finding them in my hand, or something like me randomly walking in to Joshua Bell’s rehearsal and no one stopping me (she did not reference that incident specifically, she just said “bigger things that might not happen on a regular basis”).
She also said that my recent past shows a lot of deceit and deception (hello, AJ) and that is over and will not come back. I am not sure if that means it is safe to stop circling the parking lot at the grocery store before I go in, to make sure AJ is not there, or if it just means I should still circle, but I will not run into him? Anyway, she said I am going to meet someone who is the opposite of that and who values honesty and “quite frankly, unfiltered truth” as much as I do. I like to think of myself as straight forward, but “unfiltered truth” also works. But, I said, I do not date. She said this does not have to be a romantic person, just a person. I said ok.
That was the end of my ten minute psychic session.
Back when Catharine died, I went to see an “Indian spirit guide” who also told me that Catharine did not realize she was dead when she died. I do not know if this is a common thing to say when young people die, or what, but I thought that was interesting.
Here is one of my favorite pictures of me and Catharine:
Here is a picture of me and Mr. Meow Meow:
And here are pictures of me and Embrace’s foster kitty, Eve. Her brother is Adam.